"I have rightfully no other business each day but to do God's work as a servant, constantly regarding His pleasure. May I have grace to live above every human motive, simply with God and to God." (Henry Martyn)
Wow! Wow indeed. High ground.
Today I started the day off seemingly well enough, but it didn't last long. I lost it whilst wearing my home schooling 'hat', impatience and frustration getting the better of me. Shouting then crying at my 5 year old. Honestly! Awful I know, but also understandable at times... not necessarily excusable, but understandable. We all have these moments when our fragile minds, hearts and spirits just seem to snap.
I don't really have anything wise to say other than that I got through the day ok after that with many good moments in there too. My son survived it too and was so very sweet, giving me a big hug at the time.
It's just worth checking in with ourselves regularly. How am I showing up? What am I available for? Have I given myself too much to try and achieve today? Am I overwhelmed? What one thing could I do today to help the situation? What are my motives for pushing so hard which then lead to a mini (or major) meltdown? Have I factored in rest? Does all the list have to get done today? Does my child really need to read that sentence right now if it means they're going to experience a harsh verbal berating out of proportion to the situation?
I say 'time out' ... take a walk for 10 minutes; breathe in the very cold, fresh air; sing; do some stretches; read a book to your child; lay flat on the floor and deep breathe for 5 minutes ... whatever it takes to re-set the moment. Most of all, pray. Pray your heart out, let it all spew forth in a torrent if need be.
One of my sisters said to me yesterday "Ingrid, you have a good, good (heavenly) Father", ~ and so do you! Our very good Father wants to hear from us and listen to our moments of madness and stress. We can strive for life "with God and to God" every day and in each moment, not as a bench mark to which we wish to attain but constantly fail at reaching, because I don't see it like that, but rather by managing moment to moment and getting through those moments with God. We are then in fact living with God, learning to trust Him more, building a closer relationship which will in turn make us more like Him ... this is the business of being God's servant and pleasing Him. Even baby steps are steps.
"Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." Psalm 62v8
Ingrid x
No comments:
Post a Comment