My Robin

I have a robin in my garden, a cheeky little thing but the friendliest and bravest bird. It seems unafraid of me and will hop close, looking at me as though checking out whether to come even closer. It sings so loudly and beautifully puffing out it’s chest with gusto knowing with assurance that there is nothing better in the world to do than create wondrous and joyful sound.

How free a robin seems to me. How little to worry about or plan for. Life may have its perils but it is simple.

I’ve been considering simplification recently and as a home group we took a week to discuss it (there is a chapter headed ‘Simplicity’ in the book ‘100 stand alone Bible studies). In the commentary the writer says “the practice of simplicity is a matter of watching our boundaries to see that our lives are protected for God … in a high tech world … where multi-tasking is admired … maintaining a discipline of simplicity is foreign territory”.

Let’s face it, there is so much to do in a day! Many of those ‘things’ are ok and necessary but there are a lot which if we’re honest, are distractions and certainly not necessary. There are also things that can be delayed in order to create space and time within the current day. It may require organisation, lists and consistent commitment to some change, however the de-clutter of our physical space and our schedule gives way to greater opportunities for good … and what a lovely feeling … to have less fog and cobwebs; less rush and stress; less to assault the visual sense and demand action. A calmer energy creeps up, a smoother brow with more space to breathe freely. Remember, your ‘no’ creates room for your ‘yes’. 

No to clutter (in whatever form affects you); no to high anxiety; no to rushing; no to snapping and anger; no to taking on anything more unless you have created space and time for it; no to busyness for the sake of external appearance and performance; no to invites just so that you don’t offend, or are desperate for acceptance. These ‘no’s’ will provide new space … it is how this newly created space is used which will transform your outlook and daily composure.

Yes to calm; yes to meditative time; yes to lists and organisation; yes to new ventures thought through and you have enough regular time to take on;  yes to social activities that bring you joy and not the anticipation of exhaustion or fear around acceptance; yes to time spent appreciating nature; yes to time focused on those you love without your phone nearby to distract your gaze.

It is in this new found and protected space that we can peacefully and meditatively ponder God and his creation. Even if for a few minutes I can guarantee that your calm considerations will lead to worship. What a wonderful place to end up in. It is all about him, not us, and to dedicate time for this at whatever time of day suits you best, is the best change you could make right now.

The birds have it right.

“If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds”. (The Message)

“Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they”? Matthew 6v26

By ‘sacrificing’ this time and potentially re-organising our lives to accommodate this worshipful place, we will never ever regret it. Why? Because our Heavenly Father provides and protects. We are of more value, we are precious beyond our comprehension, therefore he will give far more abundantly, above all we ask or think (Eph 3v20).

Peaceful ponderings

Calm considerations

Mindful meditations

Your simplifying will make space for your glorifying. 

Ingrid x

‘Even If’ (a song)

My sister told me that my previous post reminded her of this song … the words are honest and so relevant to many of us I’m sure. Even if God doesn’t intervene or answer our prayers in the way we desire, the key to our inner peace, acceptance and a greater future is to remain steadfast in the knowledge of God’s faithfulness and to hope in Him alone. Remember that verse in Micah (6v8)? We are required to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with our God … and it doesn’t say only when things are going well. The best thing we can do each day is to walk with God. If we do that, then his presence will be all the more evident and closer when we do face the next challenge this life has to offer.

MercyMe ~ Even If:

https://youtu.be/B6fA35Ved-Y

“They say sometimes you win some
Sometimes you lose some
And right now, right now I'm losing bad
I've stood on this stage night after night
Reminding the broken it'll be alright
But right now, oh right now I just can't

It's easy to sing
When there's nothing to bring me down
But what will I say
When I'm held to the flame
Like I am right now

I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone

They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Well good thing
A little faith is all I have, right now
But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Oh give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul

I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You'd just say the word
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone

You've been faithful, You've been good
All of my days
Jesus, I will cling to You
Come what may
'Cause I know You're able
I know You can

I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, I know the hurt
Would all go away if You'd just say the word
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone

It is well with my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul”

Ingrid x

In the fire

I sit looking into the fire a lot. There’s something about natural elements that are soothing and relaxing to gaze at. Fire has the power to kill and destroy, but contained and managed it provides warmth and comfort.

Sometimes if I’ve put a heat log on and it’s really got going, the heat when I open the door of the wood burner can be fierce. It’s cosy but it’s dangerous.

I reflected recently on the 3 incredible men which you may have read about in the Bible: Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. Daniel had appointed them as administrators over the province of Babylon. They were senior figures and entrusted with great responsibilities. They knew the laws and would have upheld them.

If you read the historical account in the book of Daniel chapter 3 you'll see it was a huge affair. King Nebuchadnezzar invited all officials throughout the province of Babylon to the dedication of his image in statue form. Heralds loudly proclaimed that at the sound of music everyone was to bow and worship the image. The consequence for disobedience to this order was also loudly heralded ... it was to be carried out immediately the disobedience was noted. A blazing furnace had been prepared and the perpetrators of this crime were to be thrown in.

When the astrologers came forward to inform on Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego the King himself chose to double check and gave them a chance to clear their names by asking if they would in fact bow down and worship his image. He even reiterated the consequence of choosing not to. He finished with "then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?" Indeed ... could any 'god' rescue men from being thrown into blazing flames?

These men had faith beyond my comprehension. They knew their God was the one who created all things ... fire was nothing when faced with the power of their God. The reality of their personal knowledge of God along with their dependence, trust and faith on and in Him, meant that they did not hesitate or waver in their response to an unregenerate earthly king: 

“King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

I wish I had faith and courage like that!! It's just brilliant isn't it?

They hadn't received a note from God telling them that he would most definitely protect and deliver them ... they had no knowledge of the outcome. All they had was their resolute faith in their God. There's a sniff of definite defiance and repulsion from them that this King (as much as they were up to this point, loyal and obedient to him and do still show him respect in their response), could dare question the existence of the one true God, defy his power and mock their faith. They had no doubt that God was fully aware of what was happening and that no matter what response and intervention he chose, they would not waver. They simply reported to a much higher authority than Nebuchadnezzar.

These men had their perspective and vision 100% accurate. It enabled them to face what all of us would consider a hugely frightening choice with unflinching surety. Can you imagine seeing the furnace and then being walked toward it after it had been stoked up 7 times hotter than it already was. The soldiers escorting you being caught alight and burnt up beside you as they throw you toward the flames ... you're tied up and have no way of escape  Agonising death awaits because you refused to compromise your faith.

I want to know my God like that. I want to know Him so that whatever I face, which may never be a literal fiery furnace, I have no doubt whatsoever that God is with me and His power within me has overcome the world. No matter the outcome, I can simply trust God throughout.

I love what happens next and Nebuchadnezzar's amazement! You can see him rubbing his eyes and straining against the heat to check what he thinks he's seeing. He asks his advisors to confirm that only 3 men were thrown in and they affirm that this was the case. The 3 men have been joined by another man who looks like a son of god ... they have been unbound and are taking a walk round the furnace! I wonder what they were talking about ... I'm pretty sure it would have been along the lines of worshipping God, thankfulness and encouragement. I like to imagine God choosing the specific angel for the task ... ‘it's fire this time, who will go for me to rescue 3 righteous men? This earthly king has overstepped the mark and must learn that the the God of these men is the one and only true God … and that it is Him who should be bowed down to’.

Sure enough the ‘fire angel’ came and the message was clear to Nebuchadnezzar. He shouted to them "Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!" An immediate acknowledgment from him that these men served the Most High God ... what a testimony. I suppose they could have continued to wander round the furnace with the angel for a bit longer, but they obeyed their earthly monarch when it did not contravene their faith, so they came out. Not even the smell of fire was on their clothing and how those leaders of the realm crowded round them to check out this miracle.  

Nebuchadnezzar exclaims "Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king’s command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God”. Remarkable. He didn't seem to learn much about the extremity of punishment, decreeing that anyone disobeying his new law would be cut into pieces and their houses be turned into piles of rubble, however he had humbled himself in acknowledgement of a greater power than he ... God Almighty and that was all down to the firm faith of 3 men in the face of and in contrast to the whole kingdom.

May we hold fast onto our faith and realise that not matter how small we may be against the backdrop of this dark and present age, we serve a living, mighty God who has the power to save, to redeem and to change the course of history if only we maintain our trust in and dependence on him in good times and bad. Through all my life (and yours), God is faithful and good … he is the God of Hope.

I love this song 'Fires' ~ Jordan St. Cyr. The lyrics remind me that I too can walk through fires because God is with me; with Him by my side I need not be afraid.

https://youtu.be/H-ggZd-SmSs

Ingrid x

In the eye of the storm (a song)

I just wanted to share the lyrics of this song:

"When the solid ground is falling out from underneath my feet

Between the black skies and my red eyes, I can barely see

And when I'm feeling like I've been let down by my friends and my family

I can head the rain reminding me

In the eye of the storm You remain in control

In the middle of the war You guard my soul

You alone are the anchor when my sails are torn

Your love surrounds me in the eye of the storm

When my hopes and dreams are far from me and I'm running out of faith

I see the future I pictured slowly fade away

And when the tears of pain and heartache are pouring down my face

I find my peace in Jesus' name

In the eye of the storm You remain in control 

In the middle of the war You guard my soul

You alone are the anchor when my sails are torn

Your love surrounds me in the eye of the storm

When they let me go and I just don't know how I'm gonna make ends meet

I did my best now I'm scared to death that we might lose everything

And when a sickness takes my child away and there's nothing I can do

My only hope is to trust You

In the eye of the storm You remain in control

In the middle of the war You guard my soul

You alone are the anchor when my sails are torn

Your love surrounds me in the eye of the storm".

In the eye of the storm ~ Ryan Stevenson:

https://youtu.be/-sx8wTnnfSc

Ingrid x

There's more ... (3)

Overwhelm ... it's the straw that breaks the camel's back or death by a thousand paper cuts! Tiny and relatively insignificant things which when added and added to, can easily take us to the brink; the tipping point; the place where we sense a spiralling into somewhere scary ... a place where we feel out of control and alone ... it's fearful, unknown and overwhelming. We get worn down. 

Words like 'tedious' and 'relentless' come to mind ... they don't exude positive well-being do they? So even though my circumstances may not be full of great trauma in the sense of persecution, enslavement or natural disaster, yet the build up of these tedious, relentless things can often bring us to breaking point … to the point where the next thing to go wrong may be the dishwasher breaking or someone spilling milk, literally. They can lead us to a point of despair and meltdown that for a brief moment in time I suppose, (when you consider our life-spans and then beyond to eternity its just such a little speck, a vapor) we implode into something of great and disproportionate magnitude which leads to responses of untruth, overwhelm and utter despair.

It's not about criticising or even challenging myself to never get to those times again because inevitably they will come. It's the learning process so that when they do come, they might not be quite as magnificent in their deploring, demonstrative emotional breakdown ... maybe that might be shorter; it might be more manageable. Then it's the picking up process; the learning; the rising and moving forward which becomes more of a reliable response. It's noting that God is in the moment, that He is there. It's us that obliterate our own view, create a fog, normally made up of our emotions that distort and distance God from our view even though He's right there; even though He's the one who is agonising with us. 

He will see us through, He will not let us down. His plan is greater; His plan is wiser; His plan is for our betterment. And even though it may not feel as though he is answering our call because our immediate pressing circumstances or feelings are not being relieved in the way that we humanly wish they were, we have to rest in the fact that His grace, His love, His forgiveness, His vengeance, His justice, His desire to elevate us to a better place, a healthier path, a greater life of holiness, far supersedes and outweighs our momentary despondency.

God is most definitely there. I keep trying to really glimpse him and have an awakening as to his majesty and power. I want my life and all it entails to depend entirely on a constant knowledge and awareness of Him and His goodness.

Let's learn to speak truth over feelings.

Let's learn to trust God when we don’t feel like it … we’ll never regret it.

Claim the promises God has given us through his word … He cannot forget or ignore them.

God is GOOD, all the time. He cannot be otherwise.

It is moving on to the stage of grasping and knowing who God is that will translate and elevate us into a place where we will know his presence in a deep, personal and real way. We will know that despite grief and devastation He is there. It will give a sense of purpose and peace; preservation and provision. We will know without question because He is the God who made us; the God who sustains all things though the word of his power. 

We lift our eyes to the hills and we know our help comes from God, God the maker of heaven and earth; the God who flung the stars into space; the God who determined the exact detail of my DNA for a purpose and a plan. He's not going to give up on me. He thought I was valuable enough to die for ... it would be illogical to ignore me when he determined before the world was created that I was more precious and valuable and of greater worth than anything else, so much so that despite rejecting him and rejecting his perfect creation, he determined on a plan of redemption. 

It's incredible and I feel very ashamed that I got cross when an outcome didn't go the way I thought it should. I will endeavour to keep a firm grasp on the goodness of God. We live in a fallen and unjust world so we can expect more and more battles however it is knowing that when in the eye of the storm God remains in control and is good.

Goodness of God ~ Bethel Music:

https://youtu.be/IvSuGyJQ6oM

Ingrid x

A song …

Just thought I’d share a song this time … when our feelings cause us to doubt, the truth is hard to find and it’s a challenge just to hold on, that’s when we need God more than ever. Hold on and be held … the truth will set you free, you will be free indeed. Let truth prevail.

We have seasons of relief and abundance but it’s the seasons of trial and testing that teach and train us the most. Let us learn to rely on God every hour.

Lord I Need You ~

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ZwLS2M5bwwA&feature=share

Ingrid x

Continuance … (2)

I’m in bed and will try to ramble on a bit more.

So like most of you, I have had moments of utter despair when the feeling of abandonment is coated with layers of anguish and internal agony. I have known times of terror when driving my 3 children home and being so overcome, that I am almost sensing suffocation at trying to hold it in; reply to them without giving away the fact that I’m crying; and concentrate on the road. Emotional and psychological pain can feel internally (but externally visible of course) debilitating … it is like your insides are being twisted so that your very breath is crushed out of you … there is an oppressive weight and a willingness to just disappear.

Where is God in this? Is he aware at that very moment of my feelings and my need for help? In my despair as I call to him for help, does he answer and do I get the help? It certainly doesn’t usually seem as though he does and in fact things can sometimes get worse!

I get all the usual verses … cast all your care upon him for he cares for you; come to me you who are weary and I will give you rest … my burden is light; ask and it shall be given to you; be anxious for nothing but in everything give thanks … and many more. I’m not belittling them or dismissing them, they are God’s word so they are true, but in our human emotional state, they just sometimes don’t seem to feel true. I confess that I am constantly having to pull myself up on being ruled by my feelings as opposed to what is true. Yes my feelings can be the truth, but the truth should be the primary driver to my thoughts, decisions and reactions to circumstances and attacks, not my feelings … they have their place but it is after speaking truth.

Where best to find this truth? God’s word … can’t really go wrong there! So God may not give us more than we can bear, but we cannot bear anything without Christ and it is his burden that is light … and he promises to carry our load. He’s actually in it with us, right there. So as I’m driving and crying or alone and convulsed with despair or confused at an outcome which is truly unjust, Christ is experiencing it with me?! That thought still seems baffling to me, but it’s much more acceptable and wonderful to me than him not being there at all!

As a member of the human race, I’m as susceptible as anyone else to any ailment, accident or attack … we all know that. We need to keep it real. I find amazing comfort in the psalms, David is just such a star at making me feel (there I go again) great reassurance as to my failings and falterings alongside God’s faithfulness. Some of his descriptions when being in abject misery are truly helpful. He can go from despairing cry’s wondering where God is, to describing in detail his fragile case and his enemies … the false accusation and constant hounding, even neutral civilians giving away his location to the enemy … basically being pretty mad and sad … to the acknowledgment of who God is. (Look at psalm 54 for example). 

It is this flick of the thought process from present circumstances and feelings (both of which are valid and very real), to the undisputed awesome person of God that enables him to begin to release the whole of his situation into higher hands. This in turn leads to rest, peace and more importantly, worship. Even though his immediate circumstances hadn’t changed, his perception of them had … his shift in focus upward to almighty God led him to accept that God was way ahead of him and had it all sorted out. God would avenge and bring justice, therefore David could sacrifice and worship in thankfulness that the job had already been done, so convinced was he that God was with him and would both care and provide for him. It was not necessarily his place to meet out vengeance on his enemies, he could leave that with God, however what is interesting is that he was quite vocal about condemning his enemies and asking God to destroy them, annihilate them in fact.

I don’t think God expects us to go about being trodden down without a voice or call for justice and neither does he instruct us to take matters into our own hands, but what he does desire is our hearts cry to him … yes shout and cry; express rage at injustice; name those who have wronged you; confess your own failings; ask God where he is; tell him your hearts cry and concern … but know this for sure because it is what he says so many times in the Bible, He is there … He knows … He cares and He actually understands … it hurts him too.

I’d better stop as I’ve gone on long enough, but I’ll finish with this thought that keeps coming to me … If God loves me enough to have sent his only son to die for me, then he’s hardly going to ignore my cries for help … he’s not going to opt out of helping me in my life or dismiss my daily concerns … they’re all of vital importance to him. His son’s blood was spilt for me and my children, so every tear that falls is precious and known to him. It makes me shake my head in wonder and frustrates me that I cannot grasp it more or comprehend it’s worth throughout every moment of my life.

Ingrid x

Hello again … (1)

It’s been a while. It would be rather British to apologise but I won’t. Why? Not because I’m being rude but because I have simply struggled. Struggled with what you may consider ‘normal’ things like time, energy and concentration but also with understanding where God is sometimes … not where he is generally as he is everywhere, but rather where he is in my life or where I am in his great scheme, if anywhere at all.

Personally I am exhausted. I used to write my blog in the evening quite easily but these days I can’t even find words. Yes it looks like I have long covid but that’s not just it. The build up to Christmas was hard; the court hearing I had was hard; the adjustments in the new year were and are hard; managing the basics every day are harder than they were; budgeting is hard … life can be hard. It’s not a comparison or complaint, it’s reality and I know you’ll be able to relate to it in your own lives.

Recall the song ‘through the fire’: “he never promised that the cross would not get heavy, or the hill would not be hard to climb. He never offered a victory without fighting, but he said help would always come in time. Just remember when you’re standing in the valley of decision, and the adversary says give in, just hold on, our lord will show up! and he will take you through the fire again”.

After the court hearing I was cross with God and very confused. I felt abandoned and slapped in the face. I didn’t understand; it didn’t make sense and it didn’t seem to me what was right or just. The consequences made my life harder and I struggled with what I saw was the wrong outcome for my children. I had sought God’s peace beforehand and rested in his presence and care … I expected a different outcome.

Was God there or had he forgotten to show up in time? Was I and were my children not the priority at the time because there were more pressing concerns in the universe (of course there were!)? How to find and sense God during deep confusion; grief and unexpected curveballs is a life long lesson in patiently getting to know him better I think. I’m going to explore it more as I ramble on over the next few posts mainly because it’ll help me to write it out and talk it through. I do believe however, that God is very much present during every moment of our lives despite the set-backs and sadnesses we’re all so acutely affected by. We all know we’re not immune to the trials of life but my own personal struggle is more around desperately trying to do the right thing and make the right decision with the right motives but being thrown off course and turned around … like that slap in the face. It’s not easy to rise and step forward when you have no idea what the next right step is anymore!

I was low in spirit, sad, confused, cross, spent, at the point of giving in and guess what? …. I don’t have any magic solution or upbeat quip to pass on … no super spiritual advice or verse … just the reality of humanity … weeping did endure for a night or two but joy didn’t come in the morning just like that (I know that verse is lovely but to take it literally as though joy pops up the next morning can be rather disillusioning!). Acceptance and joy, deep joy founded in Christ despite circumstances can take time, endurance and perseverance.

More anon.

Ingrid x