Midweek Thought ~ Why is our Identity such a big deal?

Don't you think that it's more of a 'modern' malady ... being so caught up with trying to find or come to terms with our identity? Did generations before even discuss it, and if they attempted to, were they listened to or simply thought of as a bit bonkers? Probably.

Roles and the natural consequence of those roles, were often deeply imbedded, expected, adhered to and accepted. Less complicated and more directive. Stepping out of them would have led to mockery at best, isolation, being ostracised or maybe even punished in some way.

Now I'm certainly not suggesting that those days and ways were right, preferable or acceptable. There were many flaws including ingrained prejudices, injustice and forced servitude. So it’s not a bad idea to be self-assured about who we are and where we are in the world (do I matter?), however I wonder if we have somewhat over complicated things for ourselves. The merging of roles and expectations on and of ourselves have changed monumentally and very rapidly, so it is no wonder that clarification and the seeking of who we really are, grips us all at one point or another. 

I venture to suggest that we look to various factors in our lives to add to the melting pot, before stirring it all up and attempting to produce an outcome with the label on of our identity. These could be things like our background, ethnicity, language, gender, education, religion, culture, upbringing, status, wealth, career choice, marital status, sexuality, hobbies, interests, exposure to travel, basic choices / preferences ... the list could go on. Then throw in a few unexpected twists, like bereavement, divorce, single parenting, accident, a diagnosis, an addiction, bankruptcy, false accusation, abuse ... the soup in the pot becomes even more complicated! 

There are then other external forces which affect our perception of self and that of our purpose and worth; like social media presence (when did we become so reliant on stratospheric ‘likes’ and why do we need this constant affirmation from others?) ... false imagery and perceived external perfection. We compare ourselves with these images and perceptions which aren’t even real or achievable. The subconscious pressure that our external portrayed image is crucial to our well-being; our likelihood of securing friends; our career progression and status in life is just overpowering and innately damaging. Our outsides have become so much more important than our insides ... no wonder we get confused.

If our source of identity, purpose and self-worth is in the hands of other people, whether they know it or not, then we will continue to be unstable, tossed about, back and forth, with a debilitating sense of unease and insecurity. How can it be anything other than that? The very people we may rely on to affirm and fulfill us, are merely human too, suffering from the same ailments as us ... so how on earth can we expect them to give us anything other than further confusion. It is a false hope. Hope is something everyone needs but cannot be found in anyone or anything other than God who is Himself, hope.

If the trend of the day is to promote the ideology of gender neutrality, the question isn't 'how does this affect me?', but rather 'will I allow this to affect me?' Awareness is one thing, especially if you have children / teenagers being challenged by so many new schools of thought and the forced acceptance of extreme individualism, but there is a need to stand still and remain secure in what we know to be true ... not to be swayed by every 'wind of doctrine' or new thought. Test it against God's truth.

Our roles play into our identity too, and how we perform within them. These change as our life progresses … from daughter, to friend, to wife, to mother, to auntie, to grandmother … from student, to graduate, to trainee, to manager, to director … from shared rented accommodation to homeowner to homeless … from having debt to being wealthy, and then maybe loosing it all and starting again! All of these hugely impact our sense of identity and self-worth within the communities and societies we find ourselves. Parenthood for example, can dominate for a few years, leaving us feeling we have no identity outside of our children; yet our children are often a reflection of who we are, so it’s crucial to their wellbeing that we are assured of who we are! 

Just remember one thing here, that a role should not be confused with significance and worth. The consistency of our character and what that is founded on, should be visible throughout every role and stage of our lives.

I am saying this from the viewpoint of having been there, and sometimes still going there. I am from a privileged enough, christian, farming background and tried my hardest to do everything 'right' ... that was, 'right' from the perspective of what I thought others expected from me. I lived according to that rule, hoping to please, be accepted and fulfil a good, christian, happy life. Little did I know that although filtering my thoughts and actions through others for whom I lived, I was unaware that I even had a voice. I lived abroad and have travelled a good bit, enjoyed many amazing experiences, yet still it all caught up with me and things began to unravel. Rather than take your time sharing the detail (a lot of which is not pleasant), I will bring you to the here and now which is me being me ... a lone parent to a 5yr old boy and 3yr old twins, a girl and a boy. I've been through separation and then divorce, other relationships and another separation to the children's father to whom I was not married. As you will imagine, in there are many other stories, struggles and survivals. 

Our journeys are different but each one of us has a heart and a mind ... it is how we use them to press on that will forge a change, hopefully a positive one, for our future and our children's futures. How do we learn from our pasts? To dwell in them is often unhealthy, yet to glance back to regain forward focus can be necessary. We may notice scars but see that they are a sign of healing and learning ... we acknowledge them with respect and press on. We may feel as though we are insignificant but let me remind you that no one has ever been created like you before, nor ever will be. You are absolutely unique and designed for a purpose that only you can fulfil. We may all have the same essential ingredients within our human makeup, but on top of that we have intricately designed specifications for our unique DNA ... the real me, the real you.

What we need is a solid foundation, a true source to base our identity on and in, from which we can face all the uncertainties of life. Curveballs will come, suffering is guaranteed at some point or another, but if we are assured of who we are and why we’re here, their negative presence will be manageable and will certainly not undermine our own deep-seated sense of purpose and position.

So how do we find this wonderful, assured foundation to life? Well, that's easy for me to answer but it’s not always what people want to hear, and of course it’s then an individual choice as to whether you want to pursue it. You see it’s not a product, it’s a person. Jesus Christ. To look to God’s word the Bible, and to His son Jesus Christ for my true perspective, enables me to see both myself and the world, through His lens. Having been redeemed and now a child of God, I know from the Bible that I am forgiven, accepted, unconditionally loved, have a purpose unique to me, am the only one who could be me and fulfil my purpose, and that nothing can ever change these remarkable truths!

To me, it is less about what is in that big 'pot', but more about who is controlling the spoon or ladle ... who is ultimately in control of your life? Sure, there are a lot of self-help guides out there, counsellors (I've had wonderful help from some), mediators, courses, support groups, you name it ... but I know that in my own story, to have a foundation based on something solid with deep roots, is the best platform for recovery. Get that right first and then all the other help will make more sense, and the progression to an acceptance of self will rapidly come to fruition. For me, the foundation to my identity has to be my faith in God and my certainty of His love for me ... unconditional and eternal. Nothing I can do or not do, can change that ... it's a secure, faithful, just and safe love.

If I can begin to see myself as God sees me, then the lens through which I view my life, my roles, my purpose and significance will all have the correct perspective. There will be far less need to debate, challenge and cross examine my feelings associated with being battered by every change, new ideology or conflict ... I will remain secure. Of course changes and conflict will still come, but I will be stronger and more assured of my own position within my circumstances, rather than my circumstances dictating my fragile sense of identity and thus damaging my secure platform. It's positional and relational ... perspective and truth are key. Speak truth to yourself, God's truth, and channel your perspective through the lens of God and all else will right itself in time (plus with continuous effort and awareness!).

So ... living through a pandemic and all that it has brought both me and you, I now ask myself, has it changed my identity? Let's face it, roles will have changed, maybe financial circumstances will have been affected, relationships forged or severed, mental health implications faced, challenging choices made, exhaustion levels rocketed to unsustainable heights ... who am I now? The amazing answer to that, is that God is still God and He holds me just as He has always done ... He is and can be a refuge (Psalm 46v1), a strong tower, a rock, a fortress ... but He is also the God of all Comfort (2 Cor 1v3) and He holds me in the palm of His hand, so I need not be afraid. Hebrews 13v8 says "Jesus Christ the same yesterday, today and forever".

My identity is in Christ ... and I am a 46yr old woman who does not work at the moment but is a mother to 3 children; I am a daughter; an auntie; a sister; a cousin; a friend; a neighbour; a volunteer; someone with a vision for the future to fulfil a work that only I can do. I would like to own some bluebell woods; I love to see trees and hear birds; I will hopefully always have a dog and be surrounded by family and friends. I need to work on patience and self-discipline. I need to look after my body more and yet be less concerned about my external appearance and more focused on my inward self. 

I am so often broken and I have a marred past, however if I remember to look in the mirror and see what God chose to specifically create, then I will know that for all my brokenness, God sees me as more beautiful because of it. I have been repaired and redeemed by Him. The more I focus on God through His word, the more I will reflect His image. I see the evidence of God throughout my life, scars and all ... if the rest of my life can reflect His image, then my identity will be exactly what it should be. As Greg Morse said "Be the version of you that Jesus died to create". I am a city on a hill, a light which cannot be hidden (Matt 5v14) ... I hope that my life and identity live out this great truth. I will be thankful.

This self-assurance is a beautiful outward display of the working of God’s love on the inside ... now that’s the right way round. My external physical image; societal standing; property portfolio or anything else which has a human ‘wow’ factor (all of which could dramatically change, even disappear within a day), cannot and do not truly inform you of who I am. Who I am should be visible from my insides out ...an unshakable, consistent, inner confidence based on the solid truth of God’s love and His word.

Ingrid x

(Apologies that this is such a long piece).

You’re a living, breathing, walking miracle!

I thought this was worth sharing if you haven’t seen it.

Walking miracles ~ Matthew West 

https://youtube.com/watch?v=IuDL75N3qM8&feature=share

Burdens

I've no idea why this happens to me, and to be honest it's quite annoying, but I often have thoughts and inspirations come to me when I'm lying in bed trying to get to sleep. Know the feeling?

So a couple of nights ago, I just got the beginnings of thoughts about burdens (no idea why really!) ... now here I am tying away, hoping the words flow as I think.

You'll know of Pilgrims Progress and how Christian was weighed down by the burden he carried, which was his sin. I'm thinking more about burdens we still carry as christians. Our sin may have been dealt with through Christ's death on the cross ... if we have accepted His free gift of salvation, being redeemed by His blood, then we have little to burden ourselves with when it comes to our sin taking us toward an eternity without God. However, no matter that the question of our eternal destination has been sorted, we still do sin and carry terrible burdens around with us, many of which are unnecessary and actually wrong for us to bear.

There are many more than I will list, but the few that have come to mind, I will share and challenge myself / you about ... you can add others and choose to reflect on them as you wish.

• Resentment: The meaning of resentment is 'bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly'. It describes a negative emotional reaction to being mistreated. A person experiencing resentment will often feel a complex variety of emotions that include anger, disappointment, bitterness, and hard feelings. 

• Anxiety: Anxiety is a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear, that can be mild or severe. Everyone has feelings of anxiety at some point in their life. For example, you may feel worried and anxious about sitting an exam, or having a medical test or job interview. Anxiety is your body's natural response to stress. It's a feeling of fear or apprehension about what's to come. People with anxiety disorders frequently have intense, excessive and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations.

• Fear: An unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm. Fear, dread, fright, alarm, panic, terror, trepidation mean painful agitation in the presence or anticipation of danger. Fear is the most general term and implies anxiety and usually loss of courage. 

• Bitterness: Anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly; resentment. Bitterness can feel worse than anger because it involves feeling helpless. Referred to as 'embitterment' in psychology circles, bitterness happens when you feel there is no action left to take because everything is out of your control.

• Discontentment: A lack of satisfaction with one's possessions, status, situation or with the way you are being treated. A feeling of wanting something better or an improved situation. Restless aspiration for improvement. A longing for something better than the present situation.

• Inferiority / Low Self-Worth: The condition of being lower in status or quality than another or others. Of little or less importance, value, or merit (always felt inferior to his older brother); of low or lower degree or rank; of poor quality; mediocre; situated lower down. Low self-esteem is characterised by a lack of confidence and feeling badly about oneself. People with low self-esteem often feel unlovable, awkward, or incompetent. They have a fragile sense of self that can easily be wounded by others.

• Anger: A strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility. Anger is a natural and mostly automatic response to pain of one form or another (physical or emotional). Anger can occur when people don't feel well, feel rejected, feel threatened, or experience some loss. The type of pain does not matter; the important thing is that the pain experienced is unpleasant.

• Hopelessness: The feeling or condition of having no hope; despair; desperation. Among the worst demons of addiction is hopelessness. Hopelessness is an emotion characterised by a lack of hope, optimism and passion. An individual who feels hopeless, may often have no expectation of future improvement or success.

I have deliberately just listed them with their definitions in simple form. To go into them all in depth would require a specific post each. I trust that by listing and describing them, you can relate quite quickly to the reality that we all carry around at some point or another, a negative burden. I found it interesting to note that there's often an overlap of words used ... resentment often includes anger; anxiety - fear; bitterness - anger and such like.

So is there anything we can do about these burdens? As with many things, the first step to recovery is admitting that there's a problem or that something requires healing. Identify the issue, no glossing over it or excusing it. Facing this reality can be at the very least, a bit uncomfortable but can also really hurt and may appear as an insurmountable challenge. The weight can be heavy. Any burden which has been carried for a long time, may at first have felt light and even satisfying, but over the months and years it will have festered and weighed you down. These burdens have an ability to sap joy and God's true perspective on your life. They limit your potential and no matter why you first started to carry them, the person whom they will most negatively affect, will be you. Like a cancer eating away on the inside, your spirit will be restricted and marred by the oppression.

To liberate from these burdens not only requires the acceptance that they're there, but also a vulnerability. To share and ask for help; to come before God and ask for His forgiveness and help in letting go; to ask forgiveness from someone else; to make a commitment going forward, all these things will take time and a real desire for change. Accountability is good. Have someone you trust to keep tabs on you and encourage you.

I've a feeling this may seem disproportionate to the list above as we all experience many of these things and do not see ourselves as needing 'help' or accountability. Fear for example, can be a good thing ... it's right to fear playing with fire or running across a road in front of a car, but I'm talking about an underlying condition that pervades our thinking and will impact our decisions. If fear takes ahold of our lives, then we become debilitated and cannot pursue what may be required of us by God. We all get anxious as it is a natural reaction to certain circumstances or fears, but do we let that anxiety rule our hearts and start to take ahold of other aspects of our lives initially unaffected by the circumstance?

It is when our thoughts and outlook are tainted by the burden we carry, rather than through the lens of God and His word, that we are in a position which requires attention. How many times in the Bible does it say not to fear (Isaiah 41v10); do not hold a grudge (Lev 19v18); do not be cast down ... hope in God (Psalm 42v5); be anxious for nothing (Phil 4v6); get rid of bitterness and anger (Eph 4v31); be content (1Tim 6v8); see your worth as God does ... in Christ, working from your insides, out (1 Peter 3v4). We need to speak truth to ourselves ... God's truth. The truth will set you free (John 8v32) ... what a wonderful promise to claim!

I read recently about a man who had got trapped under a large bale of hay (he records it as one ton). Two police officers arrive and try to budge it ... of course it doesn't move. One of them shines his torch on the mans face which he can just about see ... the man blinks which leads to the police officer calling out 'he's alive' ... they can't move the hay bale. The crushed man tries to call out but it is a whisper "cut the strings" ... his voice is so weak, they can't hear him. He can hear them trying to figure out how to lift the bale and deciding whether to call for help; all the while he is mumbling "just cut the strings". He wonders where that one old farmer is with enough common sense just to cut the strings as he drifts into a space between life and death, waiting for official extra help to arrive. It finally does. With the two policemen and six firemen working together, they manage to move the bale. Why didn't they cut the strings? They could have saved an extra torturous hour. 

How heavy is hay? One piece would be as light as a feather. How many pieces of hay would it take to make a one ton bale? Rather a lot! Together is became crushing ... but separated it would have been nothing.

Are you buried under a crushing burden? Is it too big, too overwhelming? Just cut the string. Take a baby step. Like the hay, separated out, the problem becomes lighter and much easier to deal with. The feeling of lightness will emerge, along with the joy and fullness of life which is awaiting each one of us, every day. Thankfully with our God and the faith He gives us to live, we can be assured that His 'burdens' are light (Matt 11v30)!

We are encouraged to carry each others burdens (Gal 6v2) and we are told to cast all our cares and anxiety upon the Lord (Psalm 55v22 & 1Peter 5v7). In 1John 4v18, he tells us that 'perfect love drives out fear' and in Romans 15v13 that 'the God of hope (will) fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope'.

If God be for me, who (or what) can be against me (Romans 8v31). We are more than conquerors through Him who loved us (v37). We can do this. We must do this. To prevail and become ambassadors here on earth for the God of all the universe, we must cut the strings to our burdens and move into the realm of love, light and liberty ... proclaiming justice and hope for all ... faithful and true to His calling and for His glory.

With love

Ingrid x

Blog piece on the NPI sites

I’ve had a short blog piece published on the national parenting initiative’s website in case you’d like to see it. It should be on their Facebook and Instagram pages soon.

https://www.thenpi.org.uk/Groups/345429/Parenting.aspx

I intend to write a couple of longer pieces or versions of the blog piece they’ve used, on the subject of identity .... will post them soon.

Ingrid x

Asking for help

I simply want to say to you all ... don’t ever be afraid to ask for help. Charlie Mackesy illustrates and conveys it so beautifully with his simplistic authenticity in his book ‘The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse’ (read it if you haven’t). No matter what it is you may be struggling with, it becomes easier to bear and work through, once it is shared and you can get help. Of course there may be discretion required and wisdom to know with whom to share. I hate the thought of someone feeling completely alone, maybe too scared or too ashamed to ask for help. It could be that you fear being misunderstood or not believed ... you may not even want to believe the truth yourself.

There is nothing quite like the touching of hearts during pain. Words are initially rarely needed. Recovery may be a long way off, but it can start with the relief and comfort of asking for help.

Reach out ... you are not alone.

Ingrid 💜 

 

Midweek Thought ~ What am I really living for?

I’m being a little lazy and using some thoughts which have come from other sources. Partly because of being occupied with court preparation but also because I love it when things come together on a certain day ... like today (I’m writing this on the morning of 23rd and I have court this afternoon).

I get two emails each day, one from Chuck Swindoll ‘Insight for living’ and the other from UCB ‘Word for today’. Today they both had exactly the same theme and almost had indentical sentences. It makes you pay extra attention! At the same time I was reading them, a song played which I’ll attach a link to at the end, along the same thought process.

Essentially it’s all to do with answering this question and then pondering it mindfully with the view of taking action as necessary ....

“What am I really living for?”

How do I invest my time and resources? What’s the most important thing I can leave behind and pass on to those who knew me? I think it’s wise to regularly re-evaluate. Reflection is a promoted practice in many areas of life ... I can recall having to write reflective pieces at work when learning a new skill or observing a new method. It’s something good to look for in others ... can they reflect on themselves and see what went well, what could be improved on and how to move forward with positivity?

Can I simplify life so that I make room for the things and people that matter most? What are my priorities and why? Should I change or adjust them? How?

In the UCB email today it said: “Don’t just make a living ... make a difference. Don’t just leave an inheritance; leave a legacy that will enrich the lives of those who follow you”.

What is it that God wants us to live for? Surely in the pace of life, we don’t want to miss what He has for us. Ultimately, whatever He has in mind for us, it’s for our benefit and blessing, so why would we rush about being occupied with everything but that?! 

You may ask, but what is it that He wants me to do and to live for? Each of us has been uniquely designed for a purpose, which may involve a specific calling and work to do, yet there is some common ground. God’s word the Bible tells us of many things we should be doing and also attitudes we should adopt ... essentially, our way of being. Every one of us lives in different homes, surroundings and circles of influence, so even if we aren’t being called to a different country or to a specific ‘big’ work (externally obvious to others), we can be who God wants us to be, right where we are .... that in itself is our calling. 

Think back to the fruit of the spirit (Gal 5v22-23) ... remember about our minds and what we are advised to think about (Phil 4v8) ... what about pure religion and how we adopt that (James 1v27) ... we’re all advised to put on the armour of God (Eph 6v10-18) ... we’re all told to follow (and copy) Christ’s example ... we’re advised to study, to show ourselves approved (2 Tim 2v15) ... to walk worthy of our calling (Eph 4v1), and we’re all told to pray continually (1 Thes 5v17). If that’s not enough to be going on with then I don’t know what is!

On a personal note, I know that right now God wants me to live out His love every day to my circle of influence, which is firstly to my children and then to my friends, family, acquaintances, colleagues and then to those whom I barely know but will come across (take for example, the person serving you at a checkout ... how do you treat them, what’s your demeanor?). It’s being that light which cannot be hidden. I can only do this however, if I allow the light of God and His love, to fill me up every day. It is impossible to do this on my own ... it would be false and unattractive. Only Christ working in me can make it possible. I believe God has further plans for me which will unfold in time. I need to pray that my heart stays tuned to His so that my path may remain level (I love it in the psalms where it talks about a level path and solid ground) and that it is lit by His word.

I’m now at the end of the day (Tuesday 23rd) and have great peace in my heart. The prayers of so many and God Himself have sustained me once again. The court hearing was different to what I had expected but that’s ok. If I truly believe that God goes ahead and knows exactly what will happen and what is allowed ... and that He cares about me and those affected more than I can comprehend, then I should gladly accept the outcome and praise Him for His care, compassion and overruling hand. He gave wisdom, clarity, courage and justice.

I know this is now deviating somewhat from how I started this post, but I’d just like to share some of the verses which were given to me today either by a ‘verse of the day’ notification or by a friend / family member. I feel like the most loved and blessed person in the world, to be so wrapped up and held in a warm embrace by so many. How loved I am, and so very grateful.

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial ... that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him” (James 1v12).

“My victory and honour come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock ...trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge” (Psalm 62v7-8).

“The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my Saviour; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety” (Psalm 18v2).

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine...” (Eph 3v20)

Psalm 27

Psalm 25 ... I especially like verse 21 “may integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope Lord, is in you”.

Here’s the song I was listening to this morning: ‘Keep me in the moment’ ~ Jeremey Camp:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=xb1bx3hYfzg&feature=share

Apologies this is a little disjointed ... I feel a bit spent right now.

With a thankful heart

Ingrid x

“God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can, and 

Wisdom to know the difference”.

(It’s so easy to read this and almost enjoy it, but when you’re in a circumstance or facing a challenge, the words are profoundly meaningful ... I need to truly pray this right now).

“Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armour of God ...that you may be able to stand firm ... stand therefore ... praying at all times” (Eph 6v10-18). The armour is listed and described in spiritual terms because we fight a spiritual battle. For me right now, I know that my shield of faith is held in place, by the prayers of others ... there is no greater protective shield than that. Thank you. 

A friend sent me this verse and I love it in the NLT version: “The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm” (Exodus 14v14). How great is that! xx

The Next Thing ...

It’s been a case of getting through Friday, then burying ‘Pebble’ on Saturday and now preparing for the next thing. If that sounds flippant and dismissive then I can assure you it’s not. It just happens that on Tuesday I have a court case. I have to focus on it and be as prepared as I can, so there’s really not much time for rest. Between the big ‘things’ and the 3 children, even though I would have loved a duvet day today, it’s a case of carrying on. As long as my aches and sore throat don’t come to anything, I’ll be fine. In fact no matter what, I should still trust God in each moment and for each outcome.

I find it so easy to get concerned about the ‘what if’s’, or after the event, the ‘if only’s’. I have a duty to do my bit, but beyond that, I know that I should be able to leave it with the Lord. So I’ve looked up some verses to help me and I’ve asked friends and family to pray for me, to pray for the judge and that the right ruling / outcome will be given (even if it’s not exactly what I have wanted or think is best). After that, I need peace ... peace to accept and move forward, knowing that God has been in the detail and knows exactly what He’s doing and allowing.

Remember this verse in Genesis 18 (v25)? “Shall not the judge of all the earth do right?” Isn't it great to rest in that fact ... He is the ultimate judge and will always rule with complete justice. I like this too, that "nothing will be impossible with God" (Luke 1v37) and "If God be for (me), who can be against (me)?" (Romans 8v31).

Of course it doesn't mean that because God is my God and I have prayed and can trust Him, that I won't be challenged, or that the ruling will be what I want ... it doesn't work like that. But I can trust Him with the outcome and that He will sustain me throughout the proceedings. He will also give me strength to continue and a peace to accept whatever the future holds, which may well baffle and go beyond any human comprehension ... but that's our God and His peace with hope is just what our souls need!

"I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?" (Psalm 56v11) ... "The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? The Lord is with me; He is my helper ... It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans" (Psalm 118v6-8). "So we say with confidence, The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?" (Hebrews 13v6).

Isn't the Bible great?! God has already gone before me, He knows what lays ahead. The battle does indeed belong to Him and I'm ok with that ... in fact, I'm very thankful for it. One more verse which is so encouraging: "Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think" (Eph 3v20) ... I think that often in our prayers and petitions we can be lacking in boldness because we may feel that we don't deserve what we're asking for, or concerned that it may not be what God's will is for us. We have a great big God who is our caring Father ... He knows our hearts and our motives; He knows what is best for us and He loves us so unconditionally that no matter what we pray for or how we pray, He will go before us and do what is both just and for our best. Now that's something I can happily rest in.

Please listen to this great song, the words of which have helped me and I will no doubt listen to it a lot over the next few days: ‘Battle Belongs’ ~ Phil Wickham

https://youtube.com/watch?v=johgSkNj3-A&feature=share

I'm going to type out the words to another song called 'The Promise' by The Martins because I think they're helpful and so reassuring:

"I never said that I would give you silver or gold,

or that you would never feel the fire or shiver in the cold,

But I did say you'd never walk through this world alone...

And I did say, don't make this world your home.

I didn't say that fear wouldn't find you in the night,

or that loneliness was something you'd never have to fight,

But I did say I'd be right there by your side,

And I did say, I'll always help you fight.

'Cause you know I made a promise that I intend to keep,

My grace will be sufficient in every time of need.

My love will be the anchor that you can hold onto,

This is the promise, this is the promise, I've made to you.

I never said that friends would never turn their backs on you,

or that the world around you wouldn't see you as a fool,

But I did say like me, you'll surely be despised,

And I did say, my ways confound the wise.

I didn't say you'd never taste the bitter kiss of death,

or have to walk through chilly Jordan to enter into rest,

But I did say I'd be waiting right on the other side,

And I did say, I'll dry every tear you cry.

'Cause you know I made a promise that I've prepared a place,

And some day sooner than you think, you'll see me face to face,

And you'll sing with the angels and a countless multitude,

This is the promise, this is the promise, I've made to you.

So just keep walkin', don't turn to the left or right,

And in the midst of darkness, let this be your light,

That hell can't separate us and you're gonna make it through,

This is the promise, this is the promise, I've made to you ... Oh, 

This is the promise, this is the promise, I've made to you".

(https://youtube.com/watch?v=qWwOaeS8dXs&feature=share)

Hoping you all have a good week ahead, with love

Ingrid x

“Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46v10) .... it’s in the stillness, stillness of our hearts that we can know God and see His hand working out the detail of our lives, not necessarily for our gain, but definitely for our best and His glory, even though it sometimes doesn’t feel that way. Be still and trust. X

Letting Pebble go ~ a hard day

So I had to take my companion of 16.5 years to the vet today, to be put to sleep.

What a hard day.

I’m so thankful for prayer warriors (warrior is definitely the right word) ... you know who you are and I am so grateful.

One of my sisters reminded me of the verse in Matthew 10 (verse 29): “not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your father knowing it”. What a comfort. Not only does He care for us in our suffering, but He notices and cares about all His creation, which includes our pets.

I had friends with me and have so much support ... it makes me feel overwhelmed inside at the love and care surrounding me. One friend unexpectedly arrived at the vets to show her love and care. She reminded me of the kindness I was showing Pebble and that I was also fulfilling my responsibility toward God’s creation, as we are in fact guardians of all He has made and that He has given us dominion over it. I was doing the right thing, despite the heartache and torn emotions. Her prayer at the time strengthened me. The friends that had gone with me and my children had thought of everything, including a green blanket for pebble to be wrapped in because green is my favorite colour ... then they told the vet they were paying for the bill! 

Coming home and still having to see to the needs of my 3 children, who by the way, were fighting and just awful! I hit a wall at teatime and struggled ... yet they needed a bath and getting to bed. Trying to hold back the torrent of tears whilst running the bath and then washing the dishes, the type of anguish that gives you a headache from the pressure ... my heart is weary and so very sore. I know I am strong, but my heart is soft.

Suffering and sadness don’t mean that somehow God is distant and unfeeling ... it’s the opposite; He cares deeply and is our companion throughout it all. He is walking this path with me. We can never be immune to pain, that would mean we weren’t human, but the amazing relief is that we have the God of all creation as our closest confidant, counsellor and compassionate care-giver. He draws near to sustain us.

“When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown” (Isaiah 43v2).

Everyone has a wound to heal and a sorrow to bear. Be assured that even if not one other person knows about it or comprehends the pain you’re holding inside, God knows and He cares. Call on Him and He will answer, draw alongside you and give you rest, comfort and hope. He gives strength so that we can endure, and peace within the turmoil.

God Himself has said “I will never leave you nor forsake you” ... So we may boldly say “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear” (Hebrews 13v5-6). In 2 Cor 1v3 we read: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort”. I love this in Psalm 56v8: “ You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book”.

We have such a good God.

As I was tucking my boys in to bed this evening and attempted to pray with them, I broke down a little bit. My 5yr old took over and prayed “dear God, please give me enough power to be able to make a dog out of duplo lego” ... what a sweetie. I do honestly believe that he will give it his best effort and will present me with a little dog, to help heal my sore heart. The simplicity of compassionate expression within a child is a true balm to the soul.

I appreciate being able to write this out and share with you, because in the doing, it helps me process things and feel more restful. Thank you.

This song by ‘Plumb’ came on whilst I’ve been writing this ... how apt! The lyrics are so relevant to many times during my life so far. Take a listen: ‘Need You now (how many times)’:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=9tivseVZbnY&feature=share

I’m not sure if I’ve ever shared this song with you before, but the words are so beautiful yet challenging ... what if our healing comes through tears? ... what if the trials of this life are your blessings in disguise? ‘Blessings’ ~ Laura Story:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=XQan9L3yXjc&feature=share

For a long time now, I’ve wanted to write children’s stories based on pebble and her adventurous life. Maybe I should get down to it, starting where it all began in a garden on the Copperbelt in Zambia ... sniffing out lizards to chase and playing with her big sister ‘Mercedes’ (a Rhodesian Ridgeback cross Great Dane, with a little bit of Doberman and Rottweiler thrown in!).

Ingrid x

Useful links

I was passed on a link to this website and it looks really good, so thought I'd share on. It's mainly for family and children with links to resources for not only sharing in the family, but for working with children too. They have a podcast and blog.

https://faithinkids.org/

https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/faith-in-kids-4-kids/id1499331486

Slugs and Bugs are also great. Their music is fun and they have a lot which is scripture to song.

https://slugsandbugs.com/

And while we're on the subject of helpful links! ... I found this website a really great signposting resource for all things parenting / family. It's so easy to use and has information on courses available, with it's own link on to 'Care for the Family' (which is another good site).

https://www.thenpi.org.uk/

Ingrid x

The Lord is my Shepherd; I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honour to his name (Psalm 23v 1-3).

You can't get a better shepherd and friend than that! 

He truly is all that we need.

Midweek Thought ~ Death (and beyond)!

“What is the most surprising thing in the world?” a celestial figure asks a nobleman. The nobleman replies: “Day after day man sees countless people die but still he acts and thinks as if he will live forever.”

Oh the fallacy of humankind in relation to death. When we are born, the one thing that we can expect, is death (unless Christ returns before that happens). We are likely to have displayed on our headstones, dates: 1974 - ????. That little dash is a pathetic symbol of a life ... the life behind that dash is uniquely mine or yours. I read recently "Think of your life as a timeless trophy of His goodness for future generations" (Chuck Swindoll). What would the dash say if it could speak? Let's make it meaningful so that what's left behind is a wonderful personal contribution. We have today, with no knowledge of our time beyond it ... use it. While we have life, let us live, let us know what it is to live for Him, not just be alive (these words come from a song I've been listening to called 'Say I won't' by MercyMe).

For me, I think it’s about time I looked at the reality of death itself and released the grip of fear that surrounds it. I'm not afraid of what's beyond death ... I know that I am secure in the hope of eternal life. I "will not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3v16), yet there is still the prospect of dying and all the unknowns around it ... when; how; have I planned for it in a practical sense; what about my children and such like? It's not an easy subject but I am beginning to think more and more that it should be. If we take away the fear, then as the Bible says 'death looses it's sting and the grave looses it's victory' (1 Cor 15v55).

I had to make a phone call today which I've been dreading. I called the vets to make an appointment to have my dog put to sleep. Awful. Fear can be healthy in relation to certain things, but it can also be such a hinderance. Franklin Roosevelt addressed the nation during the Great Depression with these words: "Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyses needed efforts to convert retreat into advance". To advance forward in life with calm certainty and strength of conviction, we first need to overcome fear.

I'm not suggesting that the enormous grief and trauma surrounding death would be lessened ... there is grief in separation and hope in unity ... but as with anything in life, if we are prepared then we feel a greater sense of calm and assurance about the occasion. Take for example going on holiday: if you are going away for 2 weeks, what do you do in advance? There are the obvious things like packing and checking your passport, booking a taxi or parking, but if you're like me, you'll clean the house and change the bed sheets so that you come back to it all tidy and clean! You may need to arrange pet sitters, insurance, let others knows and many other bits and pieces. All that for 2 weeks which aren't even guaranteed! What if your holiday is cancelled or you can't go for some reason? ... yet the journey of life toward death is guaranteed but how much preparation have we put in? Ignoring it, sort of hoping it won't happen for quite some time is rather irresponsible.

So let's look ahead and focus on what is to come and our part in it. Take the analogy of driving which I think I've used before: the rear view mirror is much smaller than the front windscreen, why? If we focused more on what's behind us, then we certainly wouldn't get very far, very safely on the road ahead. Take a look rearward and learn from it so that it enables you to steer into the future with careful, sure vision and hope. 

Buzz Lightyear (in the Toy Story films) punches his clenched fist in the air and lifts off into flight exclaiming “to infinity and beyond”. Wouldn’t it be great if when our time comes to depart this earth, we could say with certainty, clear assurance and peaceful gusto “to death and beyond”!

In the meantime I hope I can live in wondrous awe of God's limitless power and infinite grace. I want my dash to leave a legacy of hope and evidence of what God can do for and in even the most broken of lives. To then pass through death and be face to face with Christ my Saviour (those of you who know it, will now be singing the old hymn!), will make sense of everything. What a wonderful prospect! I remember my father sharing that he had gone in to see an elderly man who was a resident in the christian care home nearby and who was in the last days of his life. My father went into his room and found him laying on his bed quite calmly just staring at the ceiling... my father asked him what he was thinking about ... he replied "I'm contemplating paradise" ... how lovely; and not long after that, he was there.

To finish these rather fleeting thoughts, I'll share this poem I like by Linda Ellis called 'The Dash':

"I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on the tombstone from the beginning ... to the end.
He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.
and now only those who loved them know what that little line is worth. 
For that dash represents all the time they spent alive on earth 
For it matters not, how much we own, the cars ... the house ... the cash.
What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard; are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left that still can be rearranged.
To be less quick to anger and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives like we've never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile ...
remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.
So when your eulogy is being read, with your life's actions to rehash, 
would you be proud of the things they say about how you lived your dash?"

Let us not fear death and let our lives be lived in light of the fact that we don't fear it, that instead we are quite prepared for it. With this hope and security, we can live as lights which quench the darkness.

Ingrid x

Psalm 90v12 “So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom”.

Musings on Motherhood

 

Now that Mother's Day is over for this year, I thought I would reflect upon what motherhood means to me and some of the challenges around it.

For anyone reading this who may not be a mother but has wanted to be ... that was me for many years. My children, however, have come along not in the way that I had originally envisaged for my life. I thought I would remain childless to be honest. In a relationship outside of marriage and one which was to become toxic to the point of forced separation, I had 2 pregnancies and 3 children, all in my 40's. Pregnancy was not that enjoyable and the births were both via c-section, the first one emergency, the second one with twins, elective. 

Motherhood ages you ... it's very true! It's exhausting and relentless, often back breaking for little or no thanks ... it's not done for thanks. A mother's love surpasses the normal bounds of any other form of love with the exception of God's love for us. It is a constant self-sacrifical, giving love without any concept of feeling 'bound' to do it or begrudging it ... it's just something that comes with the miraculous development of new life within. Birth and new life is truly beyond our comprehension. The instinct to protect, nourish and provide for a new baby is a God given response to a mother.

It's a constant juggling act. To provide and manage the basics every day in relation to the children whilst keeping on top of other things like finance, car maintenance and housework to name a few, means there is often little time left for 'fun'. It's easy to become a 'no' mum. To say 'yes' to craft again, or making a den, or play doh, just means more clearing up to do, bending down and tidying. You see we can't stock up ahead ... I may have a weekend to myself when the children are at their fathers and yes I spend a lot of it resting and relaxing in my own way, but I can't sleep all weekend and then do without for the next couple of nights, I can't store it up in advance. We all need enough for the day ... enough sleep, enough strength, enough wisdom, patience, compassion, endurance and yes I am going to work on this one... energy for fun!

I need to laugh more; I need to embrace mess and hilarity; not to worry if things aren't put away until the next day (or the day after that) ... I need to keep fit and healthy to keep up with my children, so that they too, can laugh with me and just be good old fashioned silly. We already do it, but not enough. Screen time can eat into family fun time and I don't like it. I need to pace myself but factor in the fun times for sure.

There are so many pressures, expectations and stresses on us as mothers. I am a single mother which adds other challenges too ... it can be lonely even amidst busyness. The weight of responsibility can feel heavy. It's not been an easy run since the pregnancy of my first born, yet I am constantly amazed at how full I feel ... my life is blessed beyond measure and I am content. My children are wonderful examples of God's miraculous creation, His compassionate heart and His faithful love in providing and caring for us.

Like any mother, I want so much for my children ... but mostly I want them to know the love and peace of God which surpasses understanding, that it would wholly fill their hearts and minds as they grow ... because this will then give them a solid foundation for all else in life ~ It will enable them to have a secure knowledge of their identity; it will protect them in the storms of life; it will guard them against evil; it will guide their choices and light the path of their life; it will comfort them during sadness and suffering; it will give them true perspective and keep them grounded in truth, knowing that the best is still to come ... eternal life with the very God who has given us all this during our time on earth. It will mean that my boys will become men and my girl will become a woman who show kindness to others. To me this is a wonderful virtue and a core value ... I will be so proud of them for just being them. Their income and social status, following on twitter and career choice are way down there ... insignificant in the face of virtues like kindness and gentleness. I like this quote from Charles Dickens: “pride is one of the deadly sins; but it cannot be the pride of a mother in her children, for that is a compound of two cardinal virtues - faith and hope”.

My children have been born into a challenging world and will face tough choices. I know one thing which will help them and that's prayer ... a mother’s prayer is the greatest armour. Please pray for children. 

My main take-aways from this brief contemplation are that I will aim to play more and pray more with and for my children.

I love this verse in Isaiah 40v11: "He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young".

In Luke 18v15-17 Jesus calls the children to Him and bless them ... they were not insignificant to him, He specifically took the time to welcome them to Himself. He also made sure, right at the end of His life, that His mother was cared for by the apostle John (John 19v27). He cares about the detail of our lives; He cares about relationships; He cares for the afflicted, the fatherless, the orphan (read Psalm 10v12-18 and you'll see what I mean). God is just and God is good.

I am thankful for the privilege of being my children's mother, it is a huge but beautiful responsibility; one which I hope I can fulfil to the best of my ability ... not in and of my own strength but Christ in me, so that the best is brought to the fore and my children will rise up and call me blessed (Prov 31v28), because they too have experienced the peace of God in their own hearts and minds.

I want to say thank you to my own mother. She is a wonderful example to me and I am so grateful that God saw fit to design me then individually chose for me to be born as a daughter to my mother and father with a distinct purpose in mind. I had no voice in the matter, but am so thankful. 

Thank you to all you mother's out there and also to you who may not be a mother but you are like a mother to a child; you may be called 'auntie' but you have the heart of a mother.

Ingrid xx

🌻🌷Happy Mother’s Day🌼🌹

“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace”.

(Numbers 6v24-26)

 

The fruit of the Spirit 🍎🍐🍊🍋🍇🍓🥝🍍🍉

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control” (Gal 5v22-23).

I find it so easy to skip through these, reeling them off my tongue as though it’s some sort of ditty. Uh uh 😐  Love, joy, peace etc or so forth!  Whatever! ... let’s get to patience and think about that for a while, or gentleness ... 

Each one of these fruit are golden nuggets of truth and expressions from the heart of God. The fact that they are ‘listed’ in one sentence should not give us license to flippantly rush through them in an over-view type of way.

They are virtues of the highest standard and I’d like to think that if we were to attain a constant living out of every one of them, the world would be a very different place. You see, if I and you were to live out gentleness and self control for example, there would be no violence or aggression in us. To live out true joy there would be no bitterness in us and so it could go on.

There are 9 fruit / virtues given. If we decided to concentrate on each one, really focus on it and pray that we imbibe it into our very being, we would live out transformed lives and most certainly be more Christ like. Let’s suggest a 3 year period ... that would give you and I 4 months to work on each virtue! Am thinking as I write ... I may put them on my calendar and see if a friend could join me in this venture. At the top of each month, just write the virtue / fruit so that it focuses my mind to think about it for that period of time.

Note though, that this isn’t something doable on our own or in our own strength. No matter how hard we may focus and will these virtues to become apparent in our daily lives, it is only the Holy Spirit who can produce them. 

To me that suggests a lot of prayer and conviction, an open heart willing to listen and be molded so that the ‘soil’ within me is perfectly suited and ready to help nourish roots when the implantation of truth takes place through the Holy Spirits work. He will form them in our lives.

As we abide in the True Vine, we will most definitely bear fruit. May our lives be living evidence to anyone we meet that the Holy Spirit has most definitely been at work within us ... they may not necessarily know that to begin with, but they will notice fruit and be blessed by it.

Ingrid x

 

Midweek Thought ~ Mindful in the Mayhem

I know that mindfulness is a popular practise these days and it's something that I really know very little about, so I will not comment either way on its appropriateness or effectiveness.  What I do know, is that we are constantly throughout scripture, advised to guard our minds and to practise right thinking.

A classic verse to go to for advice on our thought life is Philippians 4v8 "Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honourable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise".

Gandhi once said "I refuse to let anyone walk through my mind with dirty feet." I like that!

Two little things I note from both the verse and the quote are the words "fix" and "refuse". It seems to me that for us to protect and govern our minds for good, requires effort and determination. It's not something which will become automatic, even if we are christians. Gandhi also said "A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.” Our minds are the gatekeepers to our choices and actions. So our out-living of faith, as representatives of Christ here on earth, is hugely dependant on our ability to govern and feed our minds in accordance with God's word, the Bible.

This is no easy task and it is also a continuous one. I often wish that once I'd learnt a lesson or found peace about something, that it would stick ... that would be that and I wouldn't have to work on it again! Sadly it doesn't seem to work like that. It is a daily renewal, a necessary task to undertake hour to hour (or moment to moment at times for me).

There are many verses which warn against us setting our minds on earthy / fleshly things, lustful, corrupt desires and futile choices (Eph 2v3; Eph 4v17; Phil 3v19; 1 Tim 6v5; 2 Tim 3v8; Titus 1v15). Our minds have tremendous capacity for information and knowledge. How we fill them is up to us. It's all very well trying to reduce the negative traffic going in, but at the same rate of managing that, it's also about filling those spaces and processes with positive replacements. This takes both commitment and a genuine desire to purify our head and heart space each and every day ... for the rest of our lives. It may affect our relationships as we seek to surround ourselves with those who will uplift us spiritually rather than degrade our minds. It may affect our family, work and social lives as we concentrate on renewing our minds to be more like Christ’s. 

How do we do this practically? There are verses which refer to God's laws and covenants being put in minds and written on hearts (Hebrews 8v10 & 10v16). I suggest that to memorise verses and promises from the Bible is a good use of our minds. To have on tap, stored away, God's truth, to be recalled at a moment, is surely one of the most beneficial resources a christian could have.

Paul says in Romans 12 that we should be "transformed by the renewing of your (our) mind". We all understand the word ‘renew’ ... we renew things all the time, and the purpose of doing such? So that whatever it is we’re renewing, continues and is effective in it’s purpose having been renewed. Applying that to our thought life, to me, would suggest an active, deliberate, focused sense of undertaking. For starters, you have to want to do it ... renewal isn’t automatic (ok maybe some are via direct debit!... our minds however, are not robotic!). We want our minds to be continually effective in the purpose of living for God.

I’m merely sharing what I’ve experienced just lately as I seek to try and renew my mind and focus. I don’t know about you, but if I watch junk on telly in the evening, I’ll go to bed thinking about it, whereas if I have good music on and read a chapter of a good book, my mind is more settled and peaceful (except if I get a song, even a good one, stuck in my head going round and round). I know that if I read verses and promises from the Bible, that they can be brought to mind by the Holy Spirit just at the opportune time. I also know that if I surround myself with friends who understand my desires and support me, they will encourage me if I’m struggling, laugh with me, care, pray for me and often commiserate when some days are just really tough.

Another big part of this is prayer. If my mind is geared up to praying throughout the day, even if it is in little snippets, then my focus is upward, heavenly, God-ward. A true perspective, a right motive and help in the moment can be given in an instant from God if we are communing with Him and seeking His presence in the mayhem of our daily lives.

Harking back to my last post, I do feel that quietness plays a key part in this too. The chaos and mayhem of our lives fills every moment. I’m not suggesting that all our lives are chaotic, but most of us will relate to always having something to do, a demand or expectation which can distract us from true quiet time. Social media has a massive part to play in this and I’m very guilty of scrolling for no reason ... so easily distracted. Many of you will use the all too common three word question (in fact it’s more of a statement than a question) as much as I do, which habitually follows the completion of a task or end of a conversation ... “right, what’s next?” It’s so easy to quickly move onto the next thing or become distracted by a message that could wait till later. It takes conscious effort to change our habits and decide to choose a pause, a quiet moment to refocus, renew, rest and refresh ourselves. "Be renewed in the spirit of your mind" (Eph 4v23).

Let’s think about the past year we’ve had. If you’re reading this then you’ll be living through a pandemic, a result of which will have had an impact on you of enormous proportions. We have all had to adjust to new rules of living, some will have faced huge financial hardships; great loss; challenging choices; mental health implications; engulfing sadness at not being able to see or touch loved ones in their last hours of life; restricted travel to see those we love; added roles never been imposed upon us before; domestic abuse; social isolation; loneliness; juggling so much within a day or perhaps the opposite ... trying to find something to do. I applaud us all, it's been very hard in many ways. It's incredible how resilient the human spirit is, but there will have been moments of despair and pain for all of us. Self awareness and care is essential to survival but I can honestly say that the best source to go to for that, is to your good, Heavenly Father. He cares about me more than I could ever care about myself; He knows what I need (including sleep and rest) and He can provide it. My part is to tell Him and ask, believing in faith, that He is loving and just, and will hear my petition (He has promised that, so I can claim it). Here is a wonderful truth to remember and memorise: He is "the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort" (2 Cor 1v3). Hold on to that.

To properly take regular time to still my heart and mind is not something I do yet, but I would like to. Images associated with calm stillness are so inviting and restful. We all need these times of complete stillness in our souls as it is during the reflective pauses that we can renew ourselves to continue. God doesn’t demand hectic, busy, frantic, whirring lives ... “He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths ...” (Psalm 23).

Our minds are battlefields, easily under attack, with the purpose of being led away from the truth ... to sneak a little doubt in there, or to exploit some vulnerability. Let's face it, Adam and Eve were the first humans created and they had everything perfectly made by God for them ... they could commune with Him directly, yet the serpent was able to get into their minds with subtlety and cunning, pernicious and appealing ... if they in their perfect state succumbed to the devil's infiltration then we are most definitely vulnerable. 

We are instructed to be on the alert: "We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ" (2 Cor 10v5). To take our thoughts captive invokes an image of being bound, under control and in servitude, and that's exactly what we should be striving for. It starts with an awareness, a deep consciousness of our natural failings within our minds / thoughts and then to be constantly on our guard to snatch that thought, fully examine it and if it comes up lacking when held up against the scrutiny of God's standards and word, we should really kick it into touch ... cleanse and refresh. Think of it as a bit like a regime, take personal hygiene as an example, ... a process, different applications, maybe a bit of exfoliation and then the balm of truth to be massaged into the area. 

Let's apply this to our thought life: "Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you will get neither" (C S Lewis) ... keeping our focus and aim heavenward will ground us, enabling our minds to naturally hold a right perspective.

Victor Hugo said: “Our mind is enriched by what we receive, our heart by what we give”. If we make it our purpose to govern what our minds receive and that this is all good, healthy stuff, then the outpouring of our hearts will reflect that goodness, enriching not only ourselves, but those around us too. 

I've been wanting to take a fresh look into what holiness really is and what is means to me. That'll take some time. But for now, I think a question I'm going to start asking myself about my thoughts and what I'm truly spending a lot of my time dwelling on each day, is "is it holy?" Of course a lot of what I think about is just general daily 'stuff' and that's ok ... but, if there are certain conversations, temptations, attitudes or choices, even accusations or malignment, it is good to measure them up against God's truth and to ask if they fit with the call we have responded to, to "be holy" (1 Peter 1v16). If someone tells you that you are something which is not true or kind, then refute it with the truth of God's word ... do not accept lies or allow your identity to be marred when in fact you are beautiful and acceptable to the one true God as He sees Christ in you.

These are lengthy and disjointed ramblings I know, but I do hope that there is something here which may encourage you. I love this verse which is most definitely encouraging:

"Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus" (Phil 4v7).

Paul in his letter to Philippi instructed the christians there to forge their minds into conformity to Christ's "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus" (2v5). It may seem a tall order, but no matter what your past is or your current situation, if you are a child of God, then you have the potential just as much as anyone else. God knows you inside out and shows no preference to individuals. If David could be described as being a man after God's own heart (1 Samuel 13v14) despite all the shocking failings he could clock up, then we can work toward the same hope, of being  more conformed to God's mind, His heart and His image, day by day.

With my love

Ingrid x