Overwhelm ... it's the straw that breaks the camel's back or death by a thousand paper cuts! Tiny and relatively insignificant things which when added and added to, can easily take us to the brink; the tipping point; the place where we sense a spiralling into somewhere scary ... a place where we feel out of control and alone ... it's fearful, unknown and overwhelming. We get worn down.
Words like 'tedious' and 'relentless' come to mind ... they don't exude positive well-being do they? So even though my circumstances may not be full of great trauma in the sense of persecution, enslavement or natural disaster, yet the build up of these tedious, relentless things can often bring us to breaking point … to the point where the next thing to go wrong may be the dishwasher breaking or someone spilling milk, literally. They can lead us to a point of despair and meltdown that for a brief moment in time I suppose, (when you consider our life-spans and then beyond to eternity its just such a little speck, a vapor) we implode into something of great and disproportionate magnitude which leads to responses of untruth, overwhelm and utter despair.
It's not about criticising or even challenging myself to never get to those times again because inevitably they will come. It's the learning process so that when they do come, they might not be quite as magnificent in their deploring, demonstrative emotional breakdown ... maybe that might be shorter; it might be more manageable. Then it's the picking up process; the learning; the rising and moving forward which becomes more of a reliable response. It's noting that God is in the moment, that He is there. It's us that obliterate our own view, create a fog, normally made up of our emotions that distort and distance God from our view even though He's right there; even though He's the one who is agonising with us.
He will see us through, He will not let us down. His plan is greater; His plan is wiser; His plan is for our betterment. And even though it may not feel as though he is answering our call because our immediate pressing circumstances or feelings are not being relieved in the way that we humanly wish they were, we have to rest in the fact that His grace, His love, His forgiveness, His vengeance, His justice, His desire to elevate us to a better place, a healthier path, a greater life of holiness, far supersedes and outweighs our momentary despondency.
God is most definitely there. I keep trying to really glimpse him and have an awakening as to his majesty and power. I want my life and all it entails to depend entirely on a constant knowledge and awareness of Him and His goodness.
Let's learn to speak truth over feelings.
Let's learn to trust God when we don’t feel like it … we’ll never regret it.
Claim the promises God has given us through his word … He cannot forget or ignore them.
God is GOOD, all the time. He cannot be otherwise.
It is moving on to the stage of grasping and knowing who God is that will translate and elevate us into a place where we will know his presence in a deep, personal and real way. We will know that despite grief and devastation He is there. It will give a sense of purpose and peace; preservation and provision. We will know without question because He is the God who made us; the God who sustains all things though the word of his power.
We lift our eyes to the hills and we know our help comes from God, God the maker of heaven and earth; the God who flung the stars into space; the God who determined the exact detail of my DNA for a purpose and a plan. He's not going to give up on me. He thought I was valuable enough to die for ... it would be illogical to ignore me when he determined before the world was created that I was more precious and valuable and of greater worth than anything else, so much so that despite rejecting him and rejecting his perfect creation, he determined on a plan of redemption.
It's incredible and I feel very ashamed that I got cross when an outcome didn't go the way I thought it should. I will endeavour to keep a firm grasp on the goodness of God. We live in a fallen and unjust world so we can expect more and more battles however it is knowing that when in the eye of the storm God remains in control and is good.
Goodness of God ~ Bethel Music:
Ingrid x
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