Burdens

I've no idea why this happens to me, and to be honest it's quite annoying, but I often have thoughts and inspirations come to me when I'm lying in bed trying to get to sleep. Know the feeling?

So a couple of nights ago, I just got the beginnings of thoughts about burdens (no idea why really!) ... now here I am tying away, hoping the words flow as I think.

You'll know of Pilgrims Progress and how Christian was weighed down by the burden he carried, which was his sin. I'm thinking more about burdens we still carry as christians. Our sin may have been dealt with through Christ's death on the cross ... if we have accepted His free gift of salvation, being redeemed by His blood, then we have little to burden ourselves with when it comes to our sin taking us toward an eternity without God. However, no matter that the question of our eternal destination has been sorted, we still do sin and carry terrible burdens around with us, many of which are unnecessary and actually wrong for us to bear.

There are many more than I will list, but the few that have come to mind, I will share and challenge myself / you about ... you can add others and choose to reflect on them as you wish.

• Resentment: The meaning of resentment is 'bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly'. It describes a negative emotional reaction to being mistreated. A person experiencing resentment will often feel a complex variety of emotions that include anger, disappointment, bitterness, and hard feelings. 

• Anxiety: Anxiety is a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear, that can be mild or severe. Everyone has feelings of anxiety at some point in their life. For example, you may feel worried and anxious about sitting an exam, or having a medical test or job interview. Anxiety is your body's natural response to stress. It's a feeling of fear or apprehension about what's to come. People with anxiety disorders frequently have intense, excessive and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations.

• Fear: An unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm. Fear, dread, fright, alarm, panic, terror, trepidation mean painful agitation in the presence or anticipation of danger. Fear is the most general term and implies anxiety and usually loss of courage. 

• Bitterness: Anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly; resentment. Bitterness can feel worse than anger because it involves feeling helpless. Referred to as 'embitterment' in psychology circles, bitterness happens when you feel there is no action left to take because everything is out of your control.

• Discontentment: A lack of satisfaction with one's possessions, status, situation or with the way you are being treated. A feeling of wanting something better or an improved situation. Restless aspiration for improvement. A longing for something better than the present situation.

• Inferiority / Low Self-Worth: The condition of being lower in status or quality than another or others. Of little or less importance, value, or merit (always felt inferior to his older brother); of low or lower degree or rank; of poor quality; mediocre; situated lower down. Low self-esteem is characterised by a lack of confidence and feeling badly about oneself. People with low self-esteem often feel unlovable, awkward, or incompetent. They have a fragile sense of self that can easily be wounded by others.

• Anger: A strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility. Anger is a natural and mostly automatic response to pain of one form or another (physical or emotional). Anger can occur when people don't feel well, feel rejected, feel threatened, or experience some loss. The type of pain does not matter; the important thing is that the pain experienced is unpleasant.

• Hopelessness: The feeling or condition of having no hope; despair; desperation. Among the worst demons of addiction is hopelessness. Hopelessness is an emotion characterised by a lack of hope, optimism and passion. An individual who feels hopeless, may often have no expectation of future improvement or success.

I have deliberately just listed them with their definitions in simple form. To go into them all in depth would require a specific post each. I trust that by listing and describing them, you can relate quite quickly to the reality that we all carry around at some point or another, a negative burden. I found it interesting to note that there's often an overlap of words used ... resentment often includes anger; anxiety - fear; bitterness - anger and such like.

So is there anything we can do about these burdens? As with many things, the first step to recovery is admitting that there's a problem or that something requires healing. Identify the issue, no glossing over it or excusing it. Facing this reality can be at the very least, a bit uncomfortable but can also really hurt and may appear as an insurmountable challenge. The weight can be heavy. Any burden which has been carried for a long time, may at first have felt light and even satisfying, but over the months and years it will have festered and weighed you down. These burdens have an ability to sap joy and God's true perspective on your life. They limit your potential and no matter why you first started to carry them, the person whom they will most negatively affect, will be you. Like a cancer eating away on the inside, your spirit will be restricted and marred by the oppression.

To liberate from these burdens not only requires the acceptance that they're there, but also a vulnerability. To share and ask for help; to come before God and ask for His forgiveness and help in letting go; to ask forgiveness from someone else; to make a commitment going forward, all these things will take time and a real desire for change. Accountability is good. Have someone you trust to keep tabs on you and encourage you.

I've a feeling this may seem disproportionate to the list above as we all experience many of these things and do not see ourselves as needing 'help' or accountability. Fear for example, can be a good thing ... it's right to fear playing with fire or running across a road in front of a car, but I'm talking about an underlying condition that pervades our thinking and will impact our decisions. If fear takes ahold of our lives, then we become debilitated and cannot pursue what may be required of us by God. We all get anxious as it is a natural reaction to certain circumstances or fears, but do we let that anxiety rule our hearts and start to take ahold of other aspects of our lives initially unaffected by the circumstance?

It is when our thoughts and outlook are tainted by the burden we carry, rather than through the lens of God and His word, that we are in a position which requires attention. How many times in the Bible does it say not to fear (Isaiah 41v10); do not hold a grudge (Lev 19v18); do not be cast down ... hope in God (Psalm 42v5); be anxious for nothing (Phil 4v6); get rid of bitterness and anger (Eph 4v31); be content (1Tim 6v8); see your worth as God does ... in Christ, working from your insides, out (1 Peter 3v4). We need to speak truth to ourselves ... God's truth. The truth will set you free (John 8v32) ... what a wonderful promise to claim!

I read recently about a man who had got trapped under a large bale of hay (he records it as one ton). Two police officers arrive and try to budge it ... of course it doesn't move. One of them shines his torch on the mans face which he can just about see ... the man blinks which leads to the police officer calling out 'he's alive' ... they can't move the hay bale. The crushed man tries to call out but it is a whisper "cut the strings" ... his voice is so weak, they can't hear him. He can hear them trying to figure out how to lift the bale and deciding whether to call for help; all the while he is mumbling "just cut the strings". He wonders where that one old farmer is with enough common sense just to cut the strings as he drifts into a space between life and death, waiting for official extra help to arrive. It finally does. With the two policemen and six firemen working together, they manage to move the bale. Why didn't they cut the strings? They could have saved an extra torturous hour. 

How heavy is hay? One piece would be as light as a feather. How many pieces of hay would it take to make a one ton bale? Rather a lot! Together is became crushing ... but separated it would have been nothing.

Are you buried under a crushing burden? Is it too big, too overwhelming? Just cut the string. Take a baby step. Like the hay, separated out, the problem becomes lighter and much easier to deal with. The feeling of lightness will emerge, along with the joy and fullness of life which is awaiting each one of us, every day. Thankfully with our God and the faith He gives us to live, we can be assured that His 'burdens' are light (Matt 11v30)!

We are encouraged to carry each others burdens (Gal 6v2) and we are told to cast all our cares and anxiety upon the Lord (Psalm 55v22 & 1Peter 5v7). In 1John 4v18, he tells us that 'perfect love drives out fear' and in Romans 15v13 that 'the God of hope (will) fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope'.

If God be for me, who (or what) can be against me (Romans 8v31). We are more than conquerors through Him who loved us (v37). We can do this. We must do this. To prevail and become ambassadors here on earth for the God of all the universe, we must cut the strings to our burdens and move into the realm of love, light and liberty ... proclaiming justice and hope for all ... faithful and true to His calling and for His glory.

With love

Ingrid x