Dear friends, you will know by now, that I frequent the subject of liberty and the beauty of being broken but restored ... that we are set free to continue on our path of pursuing holiness because God sees Christ in us and has forgiven us through him.
Well here I go once again and it’s partly down to some daily readings by David Gooding, so a lot of these thoughts are originally his from his book ‘Bringing us to Glory’.
The starting point is salvation ... the amazing forgiveness found through grace in Christ’s death for us. He said “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” (John 8v12). Therefore we follow the light and he lights our path as we take the next step. If only we kept our eyes constantly on that light and followed closely to the lit path, but we don’t ... we’re innately human and have a natural tendency to fail. I don’t think that’s a surprise to anyone and we are all as equally likely to fail as the next person ... the tricky part however, is to deal with our failure and return into close proximity to that light.
I have always felt so guilty about any wrong doing, that to turn back and ask forgiveness and to allow the past to be the past, is really hard. I want to be forgiven but I don’t feel deserving, therefore I can put off doing what is best for me by keeping short accounts with God, and linger too long in a self inflicted state of guilt.
In his book David Gooding says: “Sin need not have dominion over you! It is possible for you to get up and start again ... Why? Because the penalty of sin has been paid. I’m not telling you sin doesn’t matter; sin matters a lot, and if we’ve ... gone into sin as Christians, there is no penalty, but coming back can be difficult ... But ... you can do it! And you are free to do it! You are not chained by the penalty of the law. You are free, thank God ... You are free to get up and begin again in the path of holiness and in the school of Christ”.
I find it encouraging to look at some of the biggest characters in the Bible ... take Abraham and David as examples ... they wandered and failed, then got back up again not just once, but many times. They were acceptable to God because of their hearts and even though they messed up but turned back a thousand times, God chose them for vital tasks because they had hearts relatable to Him ... they were aware of their human frailty and were willing to acknowledge their weaknesses ... they knew their God and were sincere in their relationship with Him.
God can use us if we learn through our failings and acknowledge them ... there’s no room for pride, but a heart full of compassion and tenderness, even if it has taken a beating in the past, God loves and can use for the benefit of others and his work. No matter how many times I need to ‘start again’, I am free to do so because I am under grace and not the law.
Often guilt and shame can take a strong hold on our lives, limiting our freedom and hindering us from starting again. It’s inevitable that we will continue to go in circles fairly often ... a freeing, spiritually high time, to a despondent pit of anxiety and guilt. We need courage to face things about ourselves with which we have every right to be discontent, but we should never stay there ... to see ourselves as God sees us ~ accepted through Christ; liberated to walk in the light; forgiven permanently; unconditionally loved and restored to a perfect standing with God. We are his beloved and of great worth to him.
Personally, I feel that what hinders us on our journey of living in liberty and starting over many times if it’s necessary, is less about God and his amazing grace, but more about the voices of others around us. If we feel alienated or shamed; fearful of isolation or disappointment, then we will withdraw and hide in the shadows. Often those closest to us can be the ones who judge the harshest and will seemingly forgive and love, but hold the sin of your past over your head like some expected foreboding that of course you’re going to let them down again, or commit the same offense. Thankfully with God, even if you did do that, it’s as though you’ve started from a clean slate. He has no wish of failure or regret ... he is saddened by sin ... but his heart to forgive and pick you / me back up again is just the most beautifully liberating love that you could ever wish for. He doesn’t condemn (look at John 8) but encourages us to walk in faith and to follow his light. In fact, it is our duty to do so as his disciples ... to hide and feel shame or fear, or to let the threat of others dictate our freedom, is wrong and dishonoring to God in whom we trust (or say that we do) ... we have this great God on our side who rules with justice and pure love ... what can anyone do against that?
With a focus on Him as our path lighter, we will prevail ... and if we should fall ... He will be there to pick us up and welcome us back onto the path. Any shame put on us by others whether through abuse, legalism or a misinterpretation of love, is not God’s love. Those who know what it is like to fail and falter, to be belittled and made to feel worthless, can stand the tallest, knowing that the God of all the universe accepts them, (scars and all), and with this knowledge, he can use them for mighty works because they have tender hearts, closest to his own.
Ingrid x
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