El Roi

The God who sees.

It’s so often used as a threat and a stick with which to wield condemnation, casting aspersions to make us recoil with discomfort, imagining a God waiting with relish to observe what sin we may indulge in today, taking note of our faults then calling us to account. It exudes negativity and the need for punishment.

If the seeds of bitterness hadn’t already taken ahold then the looming threat of ‘God can see you’ would certainly fertilise and assist their growth! A sense of self repulsion / never being good enough would add to possible doubt and anger ... how on earth can I live in a spiritually acceptable way?

That’s not my God! It’s certainly not the characteristic of a truly loving father.

Of course I’m not refuting the fact that God is all knowing and all seeing in that He does indeed see and know our sin. However he takes no delight in that, it grieves him. His desire is to forgive it and to wipe it away with no recourse or dredging it back up again.

My God is full of tender compassion and loving kindness, willing to save anyone who looks to him and cries out for help. He sees, yes he sees … he sees the broken heart; he sees the loneliness; he sees the suffering, the grief and pain; his heart breaks too … he sees those innermost struggles and anxieties; he sees the doubt, the shame, the fear … he sees the weakness; he sees the vulnerability; he sees the cruelty and he sees the caving in to temptation. He sees to the deepest depth of your heart and soul … and he loves. He loves so much. When hurt in the worst way possible, when you have no ounce of self respect left, when you even doubt his presence … yes even then he adores you. To him you are most precious and of great value and worth. 

He sees you right now exactly where you are and he cares. He cares about those momentary stresses and the tiredness which the cares of the day have led to. He sees and understand the nervousness about the next step in your life and your struggle with patience. He understands the complexities of mental health and addiction. He knows and he sees it all.

Hagar was used and then discarded. A single mother alone with a child, abandoned, frightened and facing a slow death, but God saw her (Genesis 21). He protected and provided when no one else was around.

Jesus sought out individuals and noticed those who were invisible or insignificant to others, even those who were hated by the majority (like Zacchaeus). Each one precious to him (the man at the pool of Bethesda), each one seen and known (the woman with the bleeding disorder). It didn’t mean there weren’t problems in life but it did (and does) mean that he is with us in them … now that’s a pretty wonderful and reliable hand to hold.

We are fully known and unconditionally loved! ❤️

Nothing you have done is irredeemable.

I stumbled across the most relevant song, beautifully written and sung by Kathie Lee Gifford and Nicole C Mullen, please take a listen … 'The God Who Sees':

https://youtu.be/l6sX4Vw8mx0

I am so glad that God sees me. No matter that there are millions of other people on the planet … he sees me … and he sees you. It’s like the warmest embrace and most reassuring security you could ever imagine or wish for.

Ingrid x

25th November

Today is Thanksgiving Day ... it may be an American tradition but a good reminder to us all that in everything, we should give thanks.

However, today is also the 'International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women'. This UN appointed day launches the initiative of 16 days of activism, concluding on the day that commemorates the International Human Rights Day (10th December). The campaign, led by the UN Secretary General and UN Women since 2008, aims to prevent and eliminate violence against women and girls around the world, calling for global action to increase awareness, promote advocacy and create opportunities for discussion on challenges and solutions.

I attended an on-line conference event today, hosted by 'Restored', calling for us to change the story, especially within churches ... for beacon churches to light the way for greater awareness and greater support for survivors.

The statistics are shocking and unfortunately seem to be on the rise rather than the reverse. John Sutherland referred to Domestic Abuse as "terrorism on an epic level" and the "single greatest cause of harm in society" ...

• At least 1 in 4 women will suffer abuse at some point in their lives.
• 2 women every week are killed by a partner or ex-partner.
• 3 women every week will take their own lives following on from an abusive relationship.
• More than 1 in 10 of all offences recorded by the Police are domestic abuse related.

Nicole Jacobs who is the Domestic Abuse Commissioner for England and Wales, spoke about the role she is currently undertaking ... government are aware and the laws are changing with the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 being a great acknowledgement of the need. However every day that passes, victims and survivors are often isolated and living in fear with little awareness or support as to how they should move forward. The more sad reality is that places and people who should be trusted can add to the perpetration and fear.

• 1 in 4 churchgoers have experienced abuse in a current relationship ... this is based on research and is a shocking fact.

It is time for church leaders and all christians to become more aware rather than assume it doesn't happen in 'our church', or prefer to brush it under the carpet because of a vulnerability around how to 'handle' it or know how to support a victim. We need men, good men, to take a stand against this trend of violence and control which is predominantly male against female. We are all accountable for our attitudes and actions, or lack of them. Be aware, be wise and be kind ... it goes a long way. Listen and believe what someone may be telling you or indicating by their behaviour or lack of appearance; excuses or change in conduct. Be brave.

'Restored' have updated their guide for churches pack which you can find on their website (go to 'shop') and further information on their calling for churches to become beacons can be found at: 

https://www.restored-uk.org/what-we-do/restored-beacons/

Can I also recommend again the book by Helen Paynter called 'The Bible Doesn't Tell Me So'.

God calls us all to love and fight for the oppressed just as He does. He has no part in harm. "Do good, seek justice, help the oppressed" (Isaiah 1v17).

Ingrid x

Another quote

Still no wifi and still busy with the holidays and unpacking! So another cheat of a post to share a quote … thanks to my oldest sister for sharing with me … I don’t know who the author is … she’ll have to post in the comments if she knows!

“When you’re young, it’s easy to confuse strength with dominance; when you’re older, you realize the feat of character it takes to be meek. I used to imagine my calling was to defend the Truth. Now I’m just trying to figure out how to love.”

I truly believe that to love and to be kind, in their most proper sense, is to be the essence of what God wants from each and every one of us. 

What’s the only thing stronger and more powerful than dominance, hate and control? Love. 

What’s the only thing mightier than cruelty and bullying? Kindness.

Light dispels the dark … always.

God’s ways, his commands and laws are far more compelling, affecting and victorious. There is strength and honour in meekness of character and humility of heart. It’s often much harder for sure, but that makes it even more real and lasting … for eternity.

The quote reminds me of one of my favourite challenges which I very regularly say out loud to myself “truth with love” … speak it, act it, share it and live it out in all aspects of life.

Ingrid x

A UCB Word for Today share

 

Midweek Thought ~ A poem from a friend

I’m privileged to have a guest appearance for my midweek thought in the form of a poem by Alice Kerby, a wonderful friend.

GOD IS LOVE

If I were an artist I would travel to the highest point on Earth and paint a landscape depicting the sobering contrast of our size against the awesome majesty of His creation.

I would use every colour, and every colour would still not compare. 

I would become lost on my way home, a wandering babe in the woods torn apart by the thorny wilderness and I would curse myself for ever making the journey.

But God is love, and He would seek me and bring me home.

 

If I were a dancer I would choreograph a ballet with thirty movements. A spectacular feast for the eyes and an emotive story of grace and forgiveness.

I would use every position I could shape my body into, but every step would still not compare.

My feet would become blistered and bleed and I would curse myself for ever putting on those shoes.

But God is love, and He would heal my broken toes.

 

If I were a singer I would write a song. A melody taken from the sound of the winds in the trees with words that would reach deep inside the soul.

I would use every note, and every note would still not compare.

My voice would become sore and the words would break my heart, and I would curse myself for ever sitting in front of that piano.

But God is love, and he would flood my heart with joy.

 

Alas, I cannot do any of these things. But I was a babe in the woods, wondering with blisters on my feet and a broken heart.

A man found me. He led me out of the wilderness.

He washed my feet and bandaged them.

He hugged me, and he threw his head to the heavens and cried “Abba, Father. I have found Your daughter, and she is just as perfect as You always promised.”

And then I knew that man.

 

And from this day no matter how far I wander, how sore my feet get, how broken my heart is and how much I curse,

He will always find me, heal me and fill me with joy.

Because God is love.

Thank you Alice. ❤️

Ingrid x

Midweek Thought ~ Weariness

It’s probably been rather evident lately that I’ve been preoccupied and lazy at my blog posts. So here’s the deal ... we’ve had a bad cold / cough, my 5 year old is now having to self isolate due to a case of covid in his year, so home schooling once again and I’m trying to pack up this home and move to our new one but slowly as there are jobs to be done there ... so project managing and trying to find trades people to do the jobs as well as keeping the basics going has just eaten up my time and energy some days. I still like to support others and get involved in other charitable causes, so come the evening, I’m somewhat dazed ... add to that that for some reason I can’t seem to sleep much ... I’m having a mini season of weariness.

Now I know full well that it’s so easy to compare in order to either make oneself feel better or worse as the case may be ... let’s face it, I’m not being abused or persecuted; I’m not struggling with physical pain, a new diagnosis or unwelcome prognosis; I’ve not been made unemployed or being evicted and I’m not grieving a loss .... in fact, I am supported and cared for by so many ... I am grateful for so much.

Our own lives affect us greatly because they are our immediate and present reality. It’s ok to feel weary even if there’s nothing too ‘major’ going on. Christ compels us to “come to (him) all you who are weary and burdened, and (he) will give you rest” (Matt 11v28). What a great promise to claim!

When we get run down or are just too busy and tired, we’re often encouraged to reevaluate what our priorities should be and to potentially give up some of the things we currently do. That may well be helpful and necessary, but it’s not always the case. I know I would struggle to give up some of the folk I help or causes I’m trying to get involved in ... they help me in so many ways even if they do use up some of my time and energy. As long as I get time to spend with God and then to prioritise my children and their needs, including their need for my time without being rushed or impatient, then to be involved in the causes of others is the best form of encouragement and is uplifting both emotionally and spiritually. 

Christ doesn’t tell us to take stock and stop doing as much, or to give up helping others and to focus on ourselves more ... he simply says to come to him and he’ll give us the rest we need ... he’ll recharge our batteries and provide the vigour required to keep being his hands and feet to those around us. How can we expect to keep going in our endeavours unless we first find our energy from the source of strength, solace and rest ... Jesus Christ. To rely on our own abilities will result in short lived bursts of activity followed by a regular malaise ... not much help to those we can impact and support! Let us use the unfathomable depths of God’s love, grace, mercy, peace, strength, courage, hope and joy as we live our daily lives to influence those around us.

I love these words from Brandon Heath’s song:

“Give me your eyes for just one second

Give me your eyes so I can see

Everything that I keep missing

Give me your love for humanity

Give me your arms for the broken-hearted

The ones that are far beyond my reach

Give me your heart for the once forgotten

Give me your eyes so I can see”.

So despite weariness, I hope that I can continue to reach out and be available to those around me who need help, hope and a hug. Let’s never be too weary to represent the love of God. Don’t walk with your head down or eyes closed to the needs around you, but rather, look for opportunity to serve and be a blessing every day.

Ingrid x

Midweek Thought ~ Be a person of truth

Chuck swindoll (Insight for living 25.6.21) wrote:

“We need heroes. I mean genuine heroes, authentic men and women who are admired for their achievements, noble qualities, and courage. Such people aren’t afraid to be different. They risk. They stand a cut above. Yet they are real human beings with flaws and failures like anyone else. But they inspire us to do better. We feel warm inside when we think about this rare breed of humanity. The kind we can look up to without the slightest suspicion of deception or hypocrisy. The kind who model excellence when no one is looking or for that matter when half the world is looking.

I am certain of this—if you are one of those people, then you’re not like the majority. You’re living differently, and I commend you for it. It takes unusual people to make a difference in our world. Mediocre people impact no one, at least not for good. But one person of truth can impact the whole world!”

Do any of you remember that old children’s chorus ... “Jesus bids us shine with a pure, clear light. Like a little candle, burning in the night?” It was first published in 1868. The words were written by Susan Warner and the music by Edwin Excell. At the end of each verse the words are simply: “you in your small corner and I in mine”.

Here’s the thing ... if we’re more concerned about others noticing our impact and light in the world, then we may as well shoot ourselves in the foot. It’s only when we are content with representing the light of the world in our own small corners, with the voice of truth, that we would ever be ready to impact further afield. The goal is never to be ‘known’, but to deflect any recognition or accolade to the one who is the giver of light and life. If we can be authentic and full of integrity within our immediate spheres of influence then indeed that truth can impact the world.

As the chorus says ... a pure, clear light ... there’s no room for debris, impurity or hypocrisy... God wants a truthful, honest heart, one that’s happy to serve him in the corner he has placed them.

Never give in to fear ... have courage to pursue what God has given you to do. If you voice truth in love then you will never be guilty of mediocrity, but will be aflame with a passion for God’s work and your light will shine clear, leading others to the knowledge of eternal life.

This life is a journey and as with any journey, it must have a destination. To meander in circles without any hope of arriving, would be a somewhat disillusioning state of existence. To loose sight of our destination and purpose is to thwart any impact or spreading of light to those around us. David Gooding wrote: “If life has an eternal goal, then every step of the journey has eternal significance ... We rob this life of its eternal, and therefore of its most important and enjoyable, dimension ... For eternal life is not a something that we must wait until we get to heaven before we receive it; it is an added eternal dimension to this life”.

I am living eternal life right now! 

“Lord, may the rest of my life here on earth, be witnessed as infused with the scent of eternity. May I be known for your truth and your love. Keep me from the corrosive and cancerous nature of comparisons and covetousness so that I remain content and will always accept that what I have is yours and is best used for your glory. Help me to guard my mind and protect my heart from falsehood and wrong influences ... that my life may be busy with tending to the needs of others and filled with thoughts from your word and in many daily moments, in communion with and chattering to you”.

Ingrid x

Midweek Thought ~ Freedom to live in the light ☀️

Dear friends, you will know by now, that I frequent the subject of liberty and the beauty of being broken but restored ... that we are set free to continue on our path of pursuing holiness because God sees Christ in us and has forgiven us through him.

Well here I go once again and it’s partly down to some daily readings by David Gooding, so a lot of these thoughts are originally his from his book ‘Bringing us to Glory’.

The starting point is salvation ... the amazing forgiveness found through grace in Christ’s death for us. He said “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” (John 8v12). Therefore we follow the light and he lights our path as we take the next step. If only we kept our eyes constantly on that light and followed closely to the lit path, but we don’t ... we’re innately human and have a natural tendency to fail. I don’t think that’s a surprise to anyone and we are all as equally likely to fail as the next person ... the tricky part however, is to deal with our failure and return into close proximity to that light. 

I have always felt so guilty about any wrong doing, that to turn back and ask forgiveness and to allow the past to be the past, is really hard. I want to be forgiven but I don’t feel deserving, therefore I can put off doing what is best for me by keeping short accounts with God, and linger too long in a self inflicted state of guilt.

In his book David Gooding says: “Sin need not have dominion over you! It is possible for you to get up and start again ... Why? Because the penalty of sin has been paid. I’m not telling you sin doesn’t matter; sin matters a lot, and if we’ve ... gone into sin as Christians, there is no penalty, but coming back can be difficult ... But ... you can do it! And you are free to do it! You are not chained by the penalty of the law. You are free, thank God ... You are free to get up and begin again in the path of holiness and in the school of Christ”.

I find it encouraging to look at some of the biggest characters in the Bible ... take Abraham and David as examples ... they wandered and failed, then got back up again not just once, but many times. They were acceptable to God because of their hearts and even though they messed up but turned back a thousand times, God chose them for vital tasks because they had hearts relatable to Him ... they were aware of their human frailty and were willing to acknowledge their weaknesses ... they knew their God and were sincere in their relationship with Him. 

God can use us if we learn through our failings and acknowledge them ... there’s no room for pride, but a heart full of compassion and tenderness, even if it has taken a beating in the past, God loves and can use for the benefit of others and his work. No matter how many times I need to ‘start again’, I am free to do so because I am under grace and not the law.

Often guilt and shame can take a strong hold on our lives, limiting our freedom and hindering us from starting again. It’s inevitable that we will continue to go in circles fairly often ... a freeing, spiritually high time, to a despondent pit of anxiety and guilt. We need courage to face things about ourselves with which we have every right to be discontent, but we should never stay there ... to see ourselves as God sees us ~ accepted through Christ; liberated to walk in the light; forgiven permanently; unconditionally loved and restored to a perfect standing with God. We are his beloved and of great worth to him.

Personally, I feel that what hinders us on our journey of living in liberty and starting over many times if it’s necessary, is less about God and his amazing grace, but more about the voices of others around us. If we feel alienated or shamed; fearful of isolation or disappointment, then we will withdraw and hide in the shadows. Often those closest to us can be the ones who judge the harshest and will seemingly forgive and love, but hold the sin of your past over your head like some expected foreboding that of course you’re going to let them down again, or commit the same offense. Thankfully with God, even if you did do that, it’s as though you’ve started from a clean slate. He has no wish of failure or regret ... he is saddened by sin ... but his heart to forgive and pick you / me back up again is just the most beautifully liberating love that you could ever wish for. He doesn’t condemn (look at John 8) but encourages us to walk in faith and to follow his light. In fact, it is our duty to do so as his disciples ... to hide and feel shame or fear, or to let the threat of others dictate our freedom, is wrong and dishonoring to God in whom we trust (or say that we do) ... we have this great God on our side who rules with justice and pure love ... what can anyone do against that?

With a focus on Him as our path lighter, we will prevail ... and if we should fall ... He will be there to pick us up and welcome us back onto the path. Any shame put on us by others whether through abuse, legalism or a misinterpretation of love, is not God’s love. Those who know what it is like to fail and falter, to be belittled and made to feel worthless, can stand the tallest, knowing that the God of all the universe accepts them, (scars and all), and with this knowledge, he can use them for mighty works because they have tender hearts, closest to his own.

Ingrid x

Midweek Thought ~ What should love look like? (The absence of abuse)

I'm hesitant writing about this subject partly because it's very close to my heart and also in case I become too jumbled and unhelpful. I write sincerely and prayerfully, out of concern and love.

Where do we believe love comes from? I believe that the pure and holy origins of love come from God ... the God of love ... unfailing, steadfast, everlasting love. In the New Testament there are many reprimands to those who have left this love or do not live it out. Of course these people probably loved their families and friends a lot, yet they did not have God's love, peace and justice in their hearts, therefore could not live it out and show it to others.

So, there must be different standards and types of love. We know this to be true of course as we'll all have experienced these or some of them during our lives. Most would agree to the four main types of love: 

• Eros ~ romantic; sensual
• Storge ~ familial 
• Philia ~ friendship bonds
• Agape ~ God's divine love for all humans

Agape love is the highest form of love. Why? Because it is divine, unconditional, immeasurable, incomparable, sacrificial and pure. It would be disappointing and futile if you were to expect this love from another human ... elements of it could be seen and known, but the ultimate agape love will only ever be found in God himself and his son Jesus Christ. After all, he did sacrifice himself for us, when we didn't even want what he was offering to us ... we were his enemies. Amazing love. The mind boggles, but as long as the heart can accept it and cherish the fact that God's love embraces me, I am safe and secure for eternity.

One thing however, that no form or type of love should include, is abuse. Never. Thankfully it is impossible for it to exist in God's love.

SCIE (the social care institute for excellence) refer to 10 types of abuse (in conjunction with the care & support statutory guidance). Types of abuse now outnumber types of love. How sad. They are:

1. Physical abuse
2. Domestic violence or abuse
3. Sexual abuse
4. Psychological or emotional abuse
5. Financial or material abuse
6. Modern slavery
7. Discriminatory abuse
8. Organisational or institutional abuse
9. Neglect or acts of omission
10. Self-neglect

Anyone can be the subject of abuse, it does not discriminate. The perpetrator may not always be aware that they are in fact being abusive. Upbringing, teaching, social values, culture, religion, inbred discrimination can all be massive factors. Someone could be abused because of their vulnerabilities, including children. Most abuse happens by someone who is a close relative and maybe even in a very close relationship with their victim. Statistics like 1 in 3 women around the world will have been abused in her lifetime, need to change.

God hates abuse. God is for the oppressed ... He fights for them and will be the ultimate judge, ruling with justice and peace. The Bible is full of God's promises to uplift the weary, to aid the oppressed and to encourage those who are suffering to rest in the truth that His love and justice will prevail. How comforting.

So if within a christian marriage (or any relationship), any form of abuse is taking place, it is wrong and is not God's way of loving. It is not what he ordained marriage to be. As with any crime, it should be dealt with and not covered up or ignored ... it may be uncomfortable and awkward, especially if the abuser is known to others as the model citizen or even someone who takes a leading role in a church. 

Local churches need to become more aware of the signs and have an open door for anyone to share a concern. Pathways, safely put in place, should be governed by safeguarding principles with designated, trained individuals to help and advise. This is a bigger issue than any of us may want to imagine. Marriage is sacred, but someone who abuses their spouse within it, has broken the marriage bond. Abuse cannot be tolerated. In fact, to allow it to continue, is dishonoring to God and is misrepresenting his love to those around us. We should be the loudest voice against abuse with the tenderest of hearts for those adversely affected.

I would like to promote an amazing organisation that I have only recently come across and would ask you to take a look and reach out for resources to help your own local church to gain a greater understanding and awareness of the issue, so that you can help someone who may be suffering in silence ... scared to come forward because of the perceived shame; the thought of not being believed; the consequences of rejection and much more.

https://www.restored-uk.org

'Restored' are working away in a professional, informed way to help both churches and survivors of abuse. They have digital downloads and training available. This is what they say: "Throughout history the Church has been a catalyst for change, a voice for the marginalised and hope for the oppressed. We believe that the Church is the hope of the world and should be taking the lead in challenging injustice wherever it is found. We work to equip the Church to end domestic abuse and bring dignity and fresh hope to survivors".

It's often so easy to interpret passages of scripture to mean what we want them to say, but please do not every compromise the truth that God is love and that we must love as he has loved and commanded us. We are all made in the image of God and are highly valued by him ... equal, precious, worthwhile. God made us to enjoy liberty ... liberty to do good and not evil; to love and not hate; to uplift and not put down; to celebrate our uniqueness and differences and not to dominate or control.

Let's all check our attitudes and the way we love ... deep down, and how we show it. Take a leaf out of Jesus's life and teachings, and esteem others better than yourself. We're all sinners and God's grace is sufficient for all of us ... it's not about pride but about the security to be free to be who God made us to be. We should be celebrated by our spouse, never condemned, belittled, controlled or have any other abusive behaviour or language, whether physical or emotional, in our lives.

Strong words I know and I won't apologise ... I know I haven't quoted verses here but I have been thoroughly reading and going over these things. I can happily expound more and bring in verses another time.

Here's how to be ... "walk in a manner worthy ... with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace" (Eph 4v1-3).

We can forgive and be at peace to live in liberty, without abuse.

With love

Ingrid x